there's someone out there who needs to hear what i have to say. hear, that's kinda funny. i can't email this person, i can't write any more notes, or send anymore letters. so i'm letting the whole world know that i, Abby, am starting over. see, there's something i tried to do, but didn't follow through with it, and misused my safety nets. i mis-used the people around me,(well, person) for communication. i don't know how i'm going to solve this "ultimate" problem, but i have help. i have a group of teen girls who are there for me whenever i need them. they let me vent if i'm having a hard time, and all kinds of nice stuff. i know they can come up with ideas, and we can all brainstorm and help me through this. anyways, this "thing", it was supposed to go on for a month, and end the week before my birthday. well, i decided i want a clean slate. so i'm going to try again. Praise God for second chances. or three or four. so now this "thing" is going to go on until the week after my birthday. and i decided that if i mess up, i'm just going to have to start again, and say, a month from tomorrow. i need to be harder on myself. i need to stretch this to the extremes. i decided that i'm going to take this a little further. be more...deliberate i think is the word i need.
in the meantime, in the words of Mister Rogers "Let's think of something to do while we're waiting." so, i'll work on my SHP paper. i'll practice piano more. i'll spend more time with God. i'll do something to get my mind off of it.
so if the right person is reading this, i hope you don't hear from me for awhile. i hope nothing drastic happens while you're not hearing from me. despite the doubts i know if God has called me to do this, He and i will be able to complete the task at hand. I think that's all my tired mind has for now. Good-night to all.
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4 comments:
Well its always good to start new. Its not exactly easy but it does help. I've had to go thru the process of forgetting someone before and its taken over nine months. Not to scare you away! Trust me it is good to start over...it may take you a shorter amount of time. I was just slow cuz I wasnt sure if it was the right thing to do. So I know how you feel.
I hope this new slate works for you! Oh and remember "Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion; which cannot be shaken but endures forever."
No one special
I'm not aiming to forget anyone. i have a nack for remembering what seems everything. i told a friend of mine this morning that i'll go for a year if that's what it takes. i never want to forget. see, if i forget, than i can't help out someone in the future. but more on that later.
thanks for the encouragement. i think there are certain verses/lyrics/whatever i'm going to need to hold onto(along with God) to get through this month.
Yeah I guess what I said didnt come out right. i dont really think you can forget someone. I know I cant. But you shud do what you think God wants you to. What I say doesnt really matter since God is in control :).
No one special
on the contrary, what if God is speaking through you? then everything you say matters. I'll be sure to seek God's will like crazy during this time. thankfully i have a brother who i can vent to if i have frustrations.
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