so here I am

It's here, I'm 19. If you want to be technical about it I won't be 19 until 11:54am. The story goes that on the day when I was born, the doctor told my mom that I would be here before the end of the Price is Right show. and that's what happened! I was born exactly 40 years after the Peanuts comic debut.

So, how do I feel about being 19? Well, like I said yesterday, I didn't think it was a big deal up until last week. Then I started thinking about my grandma, my mom, and even my aunts, and what they were doing on their 19th birthday's, or what they had accomplished thus far. We'll start with Grandma.

When my Grandma turned 19, she had already married and given birth to my mom's old sister. I know that this was probably quite normal among most 19-year-old young women. That still doesn't change the fact that it's weird to think about. I mean, I haven't so much as gone on my first date (or courtship outing if you want to call it that). I know that this fact doesn't make me any less of a person, but it's still something to ponder.

Okay, by the time my mom and her sisters had turned 19, they had each completed a year of college.(they're birthdays are all in the summer) At this point in time I have only completed a month of college. so that's not really helping my self esteem at all. In addition, my aunt Tracey already had two nieces and one nephew by the time she turned 19. But I attribute that to the fact that she's the youngest, and 8 and 9 years younger than her older sisters. I've already come to the conclusion that I will not have the privilege of being an aunt for a very long time, unless I end up marrying someone who's already an uncle.(don't worry, that won't be the basis of looking for a future husband. it would just be an added bonus just like it would be if the guy I marry already has an uncle Bob so I can have one too!)

I'm so sorry if this post sounds depressing, but I'm only sharing what my thoughts contained over the past couple weeks. It's not always easy being the oldest in my immediate family. Some days I feel the trail-blazer inside of me, and other days I want to hide from my trail-blazer responsibilities. It's okay though, I know that God is there for me as a leaning post.

I would like to close this post with a chorus to a song of mine. I may have posted this chorus before, but it's good enough to post again.


Blink your eyes
Time goes by
Here we are on the side
Figuring out what we want to
Do with our lives
Where do we go from here
Where will we be
In another ten years
Oh where will we be
Ten years from now?

I'm excited about my birthday, I really am. I can't wait to see what God has in store for me this year!