Happy Boxing Day!

A late Merry Christmas to all of you! i am very sorry i haven't posted in a while, but i've been quite busy.

i got a facebook last wednesday. i was really bored on wednesday night while i was waiting for my turn in the bathroom, so i decided to create a facebook. and now i've found all these different people i know from school. it's pretty fun, but it's also easy to spend way too much time on there.

my Christmas break has been good so far. yesterday was not normal to say the least. i usually go to my grandma's house on Christmas eve, and then stay there until the day after Christmas. yesterday Grandma wasn't feeling so well, and Granddad ended up having to take her to the emergency room. so that left my immediate family, my cousins, two aunts, one uncle, and a spattering of great-aunts and great-uncles at Grandma's house all by ourselves. my two aunts and Mom all worked together to make up for all the parts that Grandma always does. my cousin and i, who are the oldest two cousins, probably would've helped too, but they had other adults that we don't normally have for sunday dinner.

having everyone there actually made it better, because that meant our minds were distracted from worrying about Grandma. all of my cousins were there until about 5:00, when they headed off to their other grandma's house. they left a number where we could reach them when we had more information about Grandma.

around supper time, my Granddad's cousin and his family showed up. at first we weren't going to get much out for supper, but then my brother asked who decided we weren't hungry. so we ended up eating supper. we always have a special punch at Christmas, and it's a special recipe from my Grandma's side of the family. except whenever we make it, Grandma's there telling us how much of everything to put in it. my mom and Aunt Tracey looked through some cookbooks but couldn't find it. finally we called someone to get the recipe.

Even though Grandma wasn't feeling so great yesterday, that meant that she had an audience of six watching her open her Christmas presents this morning.

so that's my Christmas break so far. tomorrow my cousins are coming up and we're going to Hershey Chocolate World. then they're coming to the pizza buffet while i'm working. at first they were all going to go without me, and just let me go to work. but i was really upset by that. even though i've been to Hershey Chocolate World so many times, i've never gone with my cousins. and they don't come up to see us all that often, so it'd be nice to see them at a time when i'm not working.

while my mom was on the phone with my aunt this morning, i started crying because i didn't want to miss going with them. but they worked out so we could go before i have to work. i know i'm going to have to get used to missing out on things when i go to college, but i haven't moved out yet. i'm not totally ready for complete isolation.

Wow, this is interesting

so there was an ice storm yesterday. we still had church, but some other churches canceled their services. it was pretty cool walking on the grass, because there was ice surrounding each blade of grass. same for the leaves on the trees. all through the afternoon we heard the wind blow lots of ice off the trees and onto the ground. before supper, Dad and Anna traveled back to the church to get something, and they reported that most houses south of our street didn't have power. this meant that my school and Anna's school didn't have power, theoretically.

then this morning i woke up to hear that we had a two hour delay. but then it was changed to being closed. when i went on the website for one of the local TV stations, i saw that it was only high school and one elementary school that was closed. this was because of what i had guessed before. there's no electricity at those two schools. so that means that all three of us are home all day today. i'm not sure if we'll have to make this up later on in the year. i'm guessing we won't, since more than half the district is going to school today, just on a two hour delay.

i'm actually glad that the schools affected are the ones that Joel, Anna and I go to. otherwise that would make for an interesting day. although, with the way my life has been going, the day would've been interesting even if we went to school.

well, if you'll excuse me, the writing process is calling me.

Snow!

it snowed all day yesterday. we didn't get out of school, which was actually good in the long run, because i had forgotten to bring my house key to school with me. and who knows if Joel had his with him. but all of us juniors were freaking out during the school day because the majority of us haven't had any experience driving in the snow. oh, and for those of you who live in places such as New England, or Wisconsin...or Canada, i'm so sorry i sound like such a wimp. but you should remember that we are not used to snow. and since this is the first major snow of the season, many people forgot how to drive in the snow.

anyways, i had to go to piano lessons, which is in the next town. fortunately, i had the van, so i felt more confident in a large vehicle. so i left as soon as i got myself ready after school. i still got there 15 minutes early. driving there wasn't too bad. i quickly found out that a good rule of thumb is to just drive at a speed you're comfortable with, even if it's ten mph under the speed limit. the only difficulty i had was determining where the yellow line in the middle of the road was. but then i figured that probably didn't matter too much, seen how i could tell where people had been driving on that particular road.

so i got through piano lessons, went out to scrape the van off before heading to the credit union. it's part of my wednesday routine. the credit union is in the same area as my piano teacher's house, so i go to the credit union after piano lessons because it's just efficient. going there it was a little worse. it had started to get dark, and i guess some workplaces had let out early, because it seemed that rush hour was beginning a half an hour early.

i was the only one at the credit union, but that was nice because that meant no lines. actually, there's never any lines when i go to the credit union. i didn't have any checks to cash, but i had a whole lot of tips to add to my electronics fund.

going home was very painful. it took me 45 minutes to get from the credit union to home. my leg got quite the work out with keeping it still over the break just in case i needed to use it. most of the time i was going anywhere between 5 and 10 miles per hour. thank goodness for WJTL though, because i listened to Kristi Leigh the entire way home. that helped make the long trip bearable. i didn't go the speed limit on any of the roads until i got in town, because in town the road were fine. they were just slippery, so it was just as if it rained on it.

when i got home, Dad helped me park the van, and then he cleared all of the snow and ice off of it. my parents told me that if there's another wednesday when it's snowing and i go to piano lessons, i should take one of the highways home, because they would be the clearest. so i'll remember that next time. it's just that i've never gotten on a crowded highway either. goodness, i have a lot to complete.

so we have a two hour delay this morning. so i'm off to work more on physics and trig.

the wonders of allergies

i guess you all remember when i posted about having hives? that happened in summer, somewhere around July or August. i still didn't figure out what caused that. and actually it happened again in foods class. except there was only one, and that was on my pinky. i just suffered through that one.

anyways, this evening i thought i would be helpful by helping to get dinner together. that involved washing dishes/filling up the dishwasher. so we filled up the dishwasher and got that going, and then i washed dishes. in the pile of dishes to be washed were some cookie sheets. my mom made cookies on friday afternoon/evening. it was for a cookie exchange we did with my mom's extended family at the Parlor. and since one of my seconds cousins and i are allergic to nuts, they made sure to label all the cookies to say if they had nuts or not. my mom made Oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. she made a batch with nuts, and a batch without nuts. she made the batch without nuts first, so we would be sure that no nuts got in the stuff that needed to be nut free.

so when i went to wash these dishes, there were still a few nuts on the cookie sheets, since the cookies with nuts were the last to be baked. i didn't think it would be a problem if i washed them, becaues i'm not surverely allergic to nuts. this actually comes in handy, because my siblings love peanut butter and would be very upseat if they couldn't have it anymore. anyways, to make a long story short, i have a mild case of hives from washing those. i really don't like to have to deal with allergies. it's not fun. and i don't want to take Benadryl, because that makes my mouth numb, and i haven't had supper yet. but now they're going away.

so for those of us who have allergies, i know how you feel. and if there's anyone out there allergic to meat, please contact me! i would really like to meet someone allergic to meat. i'm allergic to chicken. it's strange, but true. well, off i go, to a supper...without nuts.

quote

since i haven't posted in awhile, i figured right now i'd share a quote from my sunday school teacher.

"Tea [along with coffee and hot chocolate] is just flavored water"

Happy Thanksgiving!

I would just like to say that i'm thankful that i'm surviving junior year! also, i'm thankful for the invention of radio and all it's advances. that way i actually have a career to look forward to. just a little update of...whatever: i finished up two songs i was working on. i finished them over the past week, and i have music to the one, and i'm still working on music for the other. but it's very exciting to have that sense of accomplishment. i hope you all have a restful, yet exciting long weekend.

Me? a Winner?

that's what i thought on wednesday afternoon when i got home from school. there was a package waiting for me on the dining room table. i don't normally get packages in the mail, so it was pretty odd. i looked at the return address, and it said the Weekend 22. The Weekend 22 is a weekly Christian countdown displaying the hottest songs in Christian music for the week. It's a syndicated program. The WORD FM plays the Weekend 22 on saturday afternoons. Since the WORD FM has temporarily gone away from this area, i haven't heard it in quite some time.

Anyways, so i realized that i must have won something from them. I've been entering nearly every contest they have. i do that with a lot of websites. i figure i should just enter into anything and everything i can, because i'm bound to win sometime. so i cut open the package, and find a book in there. it's called "My First Message". it's a children's devotional bible, with 50 bible stories written in the same text that's printed in the Message Bible by Eugene Peterson. This book also has really great illustrations. It seems like a great tool to get kids excited about God.

I'm not quite sure what to do with it right now. i guess the easiest thing to do is to put it away until i have kids of my own, and then read it to them. but that's a long time away. i was thinking i could give it away to someone at church, or just donate it to the church library. but i'm not really sure. so i'll just hang onto it until i figure out what to do with it.

in other news, WJTL just had their 500 countdown this past week. the fun started on Wednesday afternoon at 2:00. so for wednesday, thursday and friday i would rush out of school at 3, listen until i had to go to piano or work, and then make sure to listen in the car on the way home until i had to go to bed. on wednesday night, i washed dishes and cleaned the kitchen until 9 or 9:15 because i needed something to do while i listened to the radio.

they really had this well planned out this time around. in the past, on the third day of the countdown we would be at 10:30pm and still not be at #1. but in the past they would start the countdown at 2 in the afternoon the first day and go till 10pm, and go from 6am-10pm the next day. then on the final day they'd start at 6 and go till they finished. this time around they went to 11pm the first two nights. then they were done by 9 on the third. but i had to work from 5-9 last night. so i was a little bummed that i was probably going to miss the last ten songs. but even though it was really busy, for some reason they let me go home at 8:20.(i didn't even complain about missing the top 500 countdown. i knew they wouldn't understand) so i ran to the car and turned it on as fast as i could. it was a total God thing that i was able to get off early. when i turned on the radio in the car, they were on song 8. so i was able to go home and listen to the last 5 and a half songs with my family. that was really nice. Casting Crowns had three songs in the top ten, which was really good, and really surprising. the Number 1 song was Mercy Me with "I can Only Imagine". that was the number 1 song in 2004 too, which is the last time they did the 500 countdown.

it was great listening to the radio at every single moment that i could. i guess i do that on a normal day anyways, but it was way more exciting this week. and with listening to all the DJs, you could tell that they were excited about this too. i would be excited if i was a DJ on there. i really liked that they did the countdown this week. that way we were excited about the countdown this past week, and then next week is Thanksgiving. after that it's advent and getting ready for Christmas. well, i'm going to add some more to a song i'm writing, and work on my paper for physics. i hope everyone has a great weekend.

responding to comments...

since i've had such a great response to the whole advent discussion, i decided just to post about it. first, i guess i'll do what i should have done in the first place: explain it. basically advent is a season where we light candles on the advent wreath. the advent wreath consists of five candles. four of those candles make a square, and then the fifth candle is in the middle. at my church the four candles are purple, but last year my pastor said that in some churches the candle for the third week is pink. i forget why. but i'm sure he'll tell us again this year. the candle in the middle is lit during the Christmas Eve service. Except a few years ago, i think they lit the middle candle on Christmas Day when that happened on a sunday. at least, they did that at my church. but my family wasn't there that sunday. i've actually never seen that middle candle lit.

anyways, each of the four candles stand for something. there's the candle for hope, peace, love and joy. At my church we usually have sermons that go along with each of those sundays during the season of advent. it's nice to have that whole month focused on remembering what it took to actually get to the birth of Jesus.

When we were without a pastor over a year ago, we had one guest speaker who tied in his Christmas music listening with the season of advent. at the church where he preached, he wouldn't listen to any Christmas songs until the season of Advent started. and actually, i really like that "guideline." i guess it keeps the season all in that time frame so we don't get burnt out on it.

I wasn't able to tell my friend who asked about what i found. But the girl who helped me answer the question, "What is Advent?" got to hear a little of my findings. she, like me, see advent as something that she's been doing for her whole life.

so i really enjoyed hearing all your input on the subject. and yes, Aunt Tracey, i was surprised of what came out of a little something mentioned on the car ride home from Grandma's house. i'm not trying to put out there that advent is right or wrong. i guess i'm just looking for purpose and history. and it looks like i've found it. other than that, i totally forget where i was even going with this post. i guess that's what i get when i'm trying to talk to two people on IM, and blog something at the same time. but it's alright, i'm having a blast. i guess all i have to say is today is World Kindness Day. so be nice to someone this evening.

The Season of Advent

I know it seems a little early to talk about Advent, but Thanksgiving is only 10 days away, so Christmas will come sooner than it seems. it's roughly 42 days away. that means advent will start in a little less than three weeks.

anyways, all that's to say that i need all the bible buffs to show their face around here. it's your time to shine! i have a question about the season of Advent. is Advent talked about in the bible at all? i know i could probably look it up, but i thought maybe some of you might want to get that natural high from knowing something someone else didn't. if i do get the answer, i'll be sure to post it on here.

the reason i'm asking is because one of the guys at my lunch table wants to know. I asked him today if he knew why his denomination doesn't "do" advent. He seemed to know everything else about his church, so why shouldn't he know that? well, he had no clue what advent was. thankfully, someone was there who could name what the four candles stand for. And between the two of us we tried to explain it to him. then of course he had to go and ask if it was biblical. we couldn't answer that question. but i told him i'd get back to him on that.

so now i guess i'm wonder why some churches do advent and others don't. it's something that's been apart of my holiday season every year for the past 17 years. i honestly think i would feel strange if i didn't do advent. i've never really thought about this before. i guess i'll get to think it through while i'm at work tonight. it's off to the pizza buffet for me!

what a relief!

we actually didn't talk about Arby's today! i actually just realized that a second ago. what an amazing relief.

Just thought i should mention...

there's something you all should be aware of. but first, as always, we need background info. so for those of you who went to my mom's blog, you may have seen the pictures of when i got my hair cut. i had really, really long hair, and got 10-12 inches cut off to give to Locks of Love. for those of you who haven't figured out, i have very thick hair. and i have a lot of hair. actually, currently i stretch out many of my ponytail holders from putting my hair into a pony tail. it's a very thick ponytail.

anyways, i'm the only one in my family who has hair this thick. my mom and sister have thin hair, so they use volumizing shampoo and conditioner. i usually stay far away from that conditioner, or else i would look like i was trying to bring back the styles of the 80's. so i get the moisturizing stuff. well, my shampoo had been running low over the past few days, and someone tried to dilute it but it's basically like putting water on your hair and expecting that to make it clean. and tonight there wasn't enough water to do the job right. so i decided to take a drastic measure. i used the volumizing shampoo. i still used the moisturizing conditioner. but i figure for the next day or so i'm going to have to wear my hair in a ponytail to try to keep the frizz or whatever down. i dont' even know what's going to happen. i guess i'm expecting some time bomb to go off and then "poof" goes my hair. so i just wanted to warn you, especially those of you who see me every day. i'm not really trying to bring back the styles of the 80's. i just decided that cleanliness outweighed image.

one other part to this story: there's two bottles of my mom's shampoo. i don't know why there are two bottles of this stuff, but there are. so i first reached for the closest one. when i tried to open it, it decided i shouldn't open it. i don't know why it was so hard to pry open.

on a totally random note, two weeks from tonight we will be living through Thanksgiving Eve. that makes me excited. that means we just have the two days of this week, five days of next, and then two after that. and then we get a week off! we're just chugging our way through the year.

I'm thinking Arby's

Yeah, i've been thinking that statement a lot lately. especially whenever i go from lunch to my forth period class.

i would like to give you all some stats on my lunch table. there are ten people at the lunch table. 8 are seniors, and 2 are juniors. 8 are girls and 2 are guys. that makes things a little...interesting.

the two guys that sit at my lunch table both work at the same place, which happens to be Arby's. there was already an Arby's in the area. in fact, my family goes there after church whenever we have coupons. otherwise, for a family of five(with a 14-year-old cross country runner) to go to Arby's is pretty pricey. anyways, the Arby's we had is sort of out of the way for some people in the area, but not for the people who live in town. so anyways this other Arby's just opened up, which means more jobs are available for us poor teenagers so we can start saving for college. :-) so the one guy at my lunch table got a job there, and then a few weeks after that the other guy got a job there. so for the past two weeks all we've heard about is Arby's, Arby's, and...oh yeah: Arby's.

most times i end up sitting near, or between these two, so i hear everything. some of it's interesting. i've learned that they will be very mad at me if i go through the drive-thru and use coupons, and that those new cheesecake poppers taste much better than they appear in the picture posted on the ad we received in the mail. i also learned that i shouldn't try to eat a cheesecake popper right after it comes out of the fryer because it will be piping hot.(thanks for trying it out for me:-])

but i have a feeling the rest of the girls at the table are a bit fed up with the fact that they talk about Arby's all the time. today at the end of lunch they were trying to get their point across, except the guys were in the middle of another conversation about Arby's. now, if this had been my siblings, i probably would've put my hands on their heads and made them face Steph. but i couldn't do that because sibling authority doesn't come into account when there are no siblings to authoritize. so maybe Steph will try to talk to them tomorrow. or maybe i can come up with an effective way to get them to stop. or maybe i just need to brainstorm a list of ways to change the subject. or maybe the girls at the table need to have a mini-conference sometime outside of the lunch table to figure out a way to communicate.

well, now that i'm thinking Arby's, i'm thinking maybe i need to grab a snack before i go to work.

Parallel parking

Somehow i managed to get the words Parallel Parking into a song yesterday. i though it was pretty cool. i guess it's just been on my mind lately. see, usually whenever i work, i come home really late. so late, in fact, that i have to either parallel park on the street, or park out back in front of the garage. and i have to parallel park to do that. i've become quite skilled at parking back there. okay, so there's one scratch on the car from one incident. but i'm a lot more careful now.

so last night i came home, and at first parked two houses down the street. but then i decided i'd just park it in back. so i went halfway around the block, parked in the middle of the alley with my fourways on so i could move something in the way, and then got down to parallel parking. whenever i park in front of the garage, we don't measure how far away i am from the "curb", or rather, the garage door. we measure how much gravel is between the driver's side and alley. apparently i'm able to get the car in closer to the garage than my mom can. this is according to my dad. last night i got really close. almost too close. but somehow my brother was still able to get in the passenger side door when i drove my siblings to church this morning. He said it's no problem for him. i guess he's used to it because when he was in middle school my dad used to park that close, and then my brother would have to get in for the ride to school.

and then i got to park the car again this afternoon when we got home from church. see, tomorrow and tuesday we can't park out front because they're trimming the trees for the electrical lines. and since we weren't planning on going anywhere this afternon, my parents parked the van on the side street, and i parked the car near the garage. This time was a little different though. my brother and sister decided to all ride home with me, because we listened to Dizmas on the way to and from church. so they got out of the car, just in case i parked them in. and then they moved out of the way while i backed up.

being the wonderful younger siblings, they decided to tell me exactly how much room i had. they stood there in the middle of the alley towards the back of the car holding out their arms the same length of space that i had to back up. then when i put the car in first gear(oh yeah, did i mention this was stick shift?) they moved to the front and did the same thing. now i would like to know why i don't have them whenever i come home from work at night? well, for one thing they'd be very tired, and i probably wouldn't be able to see them in the dark. but hey, today they helped me not back into anything.

oh...yes...Tech support!

For those who need a light-hearted thought for the day, here it is. i get a daily email from crosswalk.com. This one my family and i found really funny.

TODAY'S CLEAN LAUGH

*Stuff You Don't Want To Hear From Tech Support*

"Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?"

"...that's right, not even McGyver could fix it."

"Looks like you're gonna need some new dilythium crystals, Cap'n."

"Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if you're with 60 Minutes. Press 3 if you're with the FTC."

"We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape and a car battery."

"I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that."

"In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect."

"Okay, turn to page 523 in your copy of Dianetics."

i hope you all enjoy! :-)

All thanks to Emily Ralph

Emily Ralph is a DJ on for the WORD FM Morning Show. this year she's bee trying something new every day. so she has inspired me a little. today i did something new with out even knowing it. i rode in a Dodge Durango for the first time ever today. now, i've ridden in trucks before. well, a truck. my granddad has a Nissan Frontier, but it's about 10 years old, and it's small as far as trucks go. this is probably one of the bigger vehicles i've been in. see, i had a leaders meeting this morning for Christian club. and i always ride back with one of the three people in the group who have a car. i'd gotten in the habit of riding with this one girl, but this time i decided to ride with someone else. i really don't like being in big vehicles like that. i know he's an okay driver, but it was still a little scary. fortunately i had distractions. one being the beautiful sunrise.(it was so amazing! God is so amazing painting the sky like that!) so anyways, it was interesting. and all thanks to all that, i got some more ideas for songs. it was good. so thank you Emily Ralph, for your wonderful example. i don't think i'll be eating dog food or trying out various part time jobs like Emily does. but i'll try out the little things. it could be fun!

Day by day

so on my way to lunch today, i got to talk with a friend of mine from church. he's a senior in high school, and when he asked how i was, i told him crazy. junior year is so stressful. so then he decides to tell me that it's going to be like that all year. but thankfully, he offered a glimmer of hope. he said if there's one piece of advice he could give me, just take it day by day. one step at a time. if you don't, you get overwhelmed, and then nothing gets done. so i'm supposed to just keep chugging along with my senior high project. the past few weeks have been a whirlwind. and from what it looks like, it's going to stay that way. so i might as well get used to this stress level. and i've decided that i'm going to have to set aside time to relax. otherwise i won't survive. so saturday and sunday are going to be relaxing days. i'll probably still do homework and housework, but i'll make sure to reserve some time to just watch a movie and knit. or read a book. last saturday i went shopping by myself, and i really liked using that as some relaxing time. especially when i'm just by myself and have no certain time i need to be back. i just go home when i start to get hungry, because my budget is too tight to eat out all the time.

so i just want to apologize to everyone in advance if i'm not the most pleasant person this year. i'll try my hardest to be as positive as possible. but maybe it won't be that bad after all. i mean, we're already through the first marking period. well, almost, the end of the marking period is next week. so i just need to hang in there until thanksgiving, and then i'll have a break. from there i just need to hang on until Christmas. but that's too far ahead. how about i just make sure i have all my music together for tomorrow's Christian club...

It's been quite the day

So i was walking home from school today, and witnessed the funniest traffic jam of my life. there was a combine in the middle of the street i live on. now, while i'm not giving away the street name, i will say that it's parallel with Main St., and is the second busiest street in town. so to have a piece of farm equipment in the middle of the road is a bit of a hindrance. they were trying to get it through the street, making sure they didn't hit any of the parked cars, not to mention the cars heading the other way. many drivers got very frustrated and did a k-turn to go the other way and take a detour to their destination. i've never seen anyone do a k-turn on my street! i've seen people do u-turns, but not k-turns.

so while i was walking towards my house, i figured i'd just go in and ask my parents and sister what was happening outside. maybe they had some inside scoop that would be useful to me. well, when i asked them what was going on, they wanted to know what i was talking about. so i told them about the combine trying to get through the street. so Dad and Anna went outside to see what was happening. then Dad sent me back inside to get the camera, so we could take a picture to send to my mom's uncle. a high percentage of my mom's extended family are farmers, or grew up in a farming family.

i would just like to say that i never ever want to try to drive a large vehicle, such as a tractor trailor, or a combine, through town. i'd probable run into a car or two. my parent's van hits the limit when it comes to driving big vehicles. well, i guess i'd drive a 15 passenger van if i had to. but i'll stick to small cars. there's that small stuff again. and i felt really bad for the person driving the combine. i would hate to be in that situation. but he got through it.

then when i went back outside to leave for piano lessons,(this is twenty minutes after the combine thing) i saw police cars down the way. i really don't want to know why they were there. then there was all kinds of traffic hold ups. the van in front of me going through town would randomly put on his break every five seconds. i can get very stressed out driving to piano.

well, i need to go study for my physics test. i tried to go to the review, but we kept getting off track, and didn't get much done. so i hope i have a good hold on this stuff. hopefully i'll post more this weekend. don't forget to tune into the Squeaky Show!

Be sure to listen!

yeah, i haven't posted in a while. and i'm very sorry, but i guess that's how life goes. anyways, i'm going to be on the radio this saturday. so you will have to head over to my Squeaky Show blog to check out how you can listen. i'll be on from 8-11am eastern time. i know it's really early for a saturday, but hey, these things happen. if it makes you feel better, this will be the second saturday in a row i've had to be somewhere at 8am. i just really feel bad for my west coast friend, Liz, who i know will not get up at...5am on saturday to listen to my show. although that'd be pretty cool if she did. i'll just be playing some awesome music to get you up and going for your saturday morning.

busy, busy, busy

that's how this past week has felt. but last night, that just took the cake. so the homecoming football game was supposed to be last night, but it was canceled because of rain. but it didn't really matter to me, because i had to work. so i got to work, and the parking lot was a lot fuller than normal. i've become accustom to parking in "my" parking spot, which happens to be in front of the light pole. and normally there's no one else that parks even close to that area. all the other workers park near the plaza itself. i figure i don't want to get in that habit, because once the stores in that area of the plaza open up, we won't be able to park there anyways. so some of my fellow workers were parked near my spot.(but thankfully not in my spot.) so i parked in my spot, and got out and said hello to Morgan, who got there at the same time i did. we were marveling at all the cars in the parking lot as we walked toward the building. we weren't sure if they were all there for the Pizza Buffet or not. see, there's this other restaurant that just opened up the other day, and it's two doors down from us. so we thought maybe all the cars were people wanting to check out this new restaurant. well, we walked passed the restaurant, and looked in the window. there were less than ten people in there. so everyone was there for us. it was a really crazy night. i've been so used to working on tuesdays, thursdays, and saturdays. the busiest out of that three is saturday, but it's not nearly as busy as friday. so when i work till close, i'm used to working till 9:30, 10 at the latest. so it was strange when it was 9:45, and i knew there was no way we were even close to being done. but we had a lot of people there to help out. so i got out of there a little after ten. except i had to stop at the grocery store to get a gallon of milk, so i didn't get home until 10:30.

and then i got to get up and go to school. it was for the PSAT. basically most of the junior class came in today to take them. it went alright, but it was so weird sitting there in a class room on a saturday. but i got used to it after awhile. and it felt like the end of a school day, or at least it reminded me of finals, when everyone was standing outside waiting for their ride to come. i drove to school for the second time this year. :-D so i chatted with a friend of mine for a little while, and then walked over to the van and headed home. the traffic was the same as a school day too. well, except there wasn't quite as much. but i tried to wait a little while so i wouldn't be caught up in too much traffic. but i wasn't stopped for a long period time at all while waiting to get out of there. so that was good.

well, i think i'm going to go practice piano and guitar a little bit, and then do some homework. and hopefully i can get to bed a little earlier tonight. i'm so glad i'm not going to the homecoming dance tonight.

"Just ask Abby"

that's what my physics teacher told everyone in class today. apparently hardly anyone else in the class understands what we're doing. and we did this one problem today, and i did it, and then just sat there. and then she had me go and explain it to her and how i did it. so then apparently i had a really good handle on what we are doing. i should pause to say that my class has about 15 students in it, so it's rather small. before i knew it, several of my classmates were around me asking how in the world i did the problem. oh, and for those of interest, we're in the unit of "Vectors and Projectiles". except we're still on the Vectors part. this problem included head to tail addition, and solving components, which is when you make a few right triangles from the vectors, provided they're not horizontal or vertical. from the one right triangles you could figure out the other sides just by knowing the hypotenuse and one of the angles. in this particular problem that helped you with one of the sides of the R-value. and then you just subtract for the other side, Pythagorean theorem your way through, and there you go! well, then you need to find the angle touching the y-axis or something parallel to it.

so sorry if i just confused a bunch of you. anyways...i couldn't explain it to other people from my messy drawling. so i ended up just drawling it again, and doing each step at a time. as willing as i am to help my peers with these things, i don't think i want to become a teacher. but i'm not used to such power. i'm not usually the only 0ne in an entire class that "gets it". it's quite strange. but i'm sure this won't last for long. it'll probably be a week or two before everyone is asking someone else for help. and that's perfectly fine.

and the product of all this?

a new song! and it's going to be a bluesy, jazzy song. it's a new endeavour for me, but so far it's working out just fine. i'll probably get really frustrated once i work it out on the piano, but the words and melody is working out great. basically the song talks about the mini-crisis i went through yesterday. once i get all of the lyrics worked out i'll post it on here. but i feel much better today than i did yesterday. Christian club really helped with that. in thinking about it, Christian Club and WJTL saved my life today. at least, they made things a little more bearable. it's amazing how God can work through a radio station to have a very helpful song playing right at the time i need it. God's pretty cool like that.

here we go

youth group was good. the people were really nice, and a lot of them started conversations with me. that made it easier being new. but it was a bit of a "culture shock" as my lunch table called it. thank goodness they were on my side explaining to the person who invited me why it was such a culture shock. i don't really have anything against that denomination, because my mom grew up in the denomination of the church i went to last night. the only reason i'm apart of the Churches of God General Conference is because that's what my dad was apart of. so my whole family is apart of that. it's what i've grown up with, and i'm used to it. my church is more traditional, and i'm used to that.

but this is definitely going in the book. i just need to remember to write it down later.

so.....

...i was invited to this youth group. it's tomorrow night. and it's at a really big church. let's just say that my church is very small. and very old. those aren't bad things. it's just different, that's all. there are so many churches around this area. and many of them are what we like to call, "Mega-churches". these are churches that have about 1000 or more people in their congregation. but this person invited me, and i'm not really sure why. but Liz says i should go because then i can put it in my book. btw Liz, i started a list of some stories to put in my book. i'm going to need your help later to makes sure i list everything. anyways, back to my story. Liz also said i should go b/c then i can tell her all about it on thursday! ;-) so i'm going. but not just for those reasons.

but when i recieved this verbal invitation last week, i was warned. yes, that's right, warned. the person who invited me told me that worship at "big churches"(i believe was his terminology) is a bit different than at small churches. frankly, i could decide whether i should be offended, or whether i should laugh. i took option three. that option was to calmly explain that i had been to some events of some larger churches, so i know how they worship. and i'm okay with that. maybe he thought that in my small church i had been sheltered from whatever in the big churches. and i guess i could understand how he might think that. but i don't concider myself sheltered.

it's just interesting to hear what people think about small churches. i don't think it's really a big deal how big or small a church is. lately i've realized that i'm more for small things. churches, towns, businesses, schools, cars. i'm rather short myself. i'm just trying to figure out the big picture with all these small interests, and small actions.

it happened again!

i was able to write some more music! this makes me so excited. i decided a few days ago that i should write a sequal to that song i shared with you all a few weeks ago. the one where the chorus starts out, "Can we put our differences away for awhile and find something good to talk about?" but i knew that i needed to wait on God's timing to write it. well, during church today i came up with a chorus. it's a chorus that's going to need some work, but it's a base to something. then after church i was seeing if i had anything more to add to the other song i was working on, when i decided i should try and come up with something for this new song. so i did. and i think it's a pretty good start. i was even able to come up with some of the lyrics, though i still need to write them down. i'll probably work on this more tomorrow night and on tuesday morning. i'm really excited that God has given me these gifts that i may glorify Him. even if i never do end up writing the next big praise song bound to be sung in churches all over the nation. i've often wondered why i even write songs if i know i'm gifted in radio. but i figure that shouldn't stop me from writing them down, because God has a plan for them. and i know God has a plan for the music too. so i should keep at it.

creative moments

and i just had one! i was just practicing guitar, and figuring out some more chords to a song i've been working on. then i decided to figure out what the chords would be to part of a verse i wrote. the verse goes as follows:

"blink your eyes, time goes by
here we are on the side
figuring out what we want to do with our lives"

and i thought i was going to have to spend twenty minutes or so figuring out what the melody was, and what chords went with that and stuff. but no. it took me under a minute because the chords just came to me, and i just played them. and all i have to say is Thank you God, and that was amazing. i hope that can happen more often. now i just need to come up with the rest of the song. but i pretty much know the chord progression. i also wish this could happen to me on the piano, but i know it will when the time is right.

the gift of life

yeah...today i gave blood. twice a school year the PA Bloodbank comes to school, and people ages 17 and over can give blood. surprisingly a lot of juniors and seniors give blood. anyways, since i turned 17 three days ago, a few weeks ago i signed up for it in homeroom. my parents give blood pretty regularly, so i figured why not. also, i'm not exactly freaked out about needles. i don't like to look, but it's okay. so i was scheduled to start the process at 9:45 this morning. so i filled out some papers, and drank some water. note to self: drink more water next time. so then they did my temp and blood pressure, and answering all those questions. then it was off to the bus! basically, they have two buses, with four chairs each. there were a lot of people giving blood at the time that i was! i was really nervous about it, but knew that i would get through it just fine. and i did. i felt really great while i was pumping the blood into the pouch. those nurses are really good at making sure you're okay and making sure no one will pass out. then after i was done i sat and ate a few crackers and drank some orange juice. another note to self: eat more crackers next time. third note to self: don't take the smokehouse cheddar ones, take the oreo looking ones.

so then i walked back into the school. it was only a few minutes before lunch so i just waited around. but walking to lunch, through the food court area, and to my seat was quite interesting. i felt really light headed, and felt like a bunch of energy had been sucked out of me. so i ate, but felt like i should've eaten more. i made sure to keep drinking water through the afternoon. if i make a lot of sudden movements then i get light headed, but i know that'll go away in a few days.

so now i'm getting ready to have a really nice meal of spaghetti. on a side note it was interesting being one of the younger ones to give blood. because a lot of my fellow juniors were asking me about my experiance. i can't count how many times i told people the worst part was when they pricked my finger. and how walking to each class i just felt really exhausted. but then again so many of us upperclassmen. i'm glad i gave blood today. and i think i'll continue to give blood whenever i can. so sign me up for the spring blood drive!

how ironic!

so, to start off with, today is my 17th birthday. and no, that's not the ironic part. as always, there's a long and involved story with this. so my friend, the same one who i went shopping with on sunday, got me a gift, and she was going to give it to me before school. but she didn't get there as early as she normally does, so i didn't see her before homeroom. so throughout the day i forgot about this gift i was supposed to get. then comes 6th period, which is my government class. we had started off class, and then got off track, which was strange because we never get off track quite that much in government class. anyways, after that was done, my teacher was talking, and then he stopped and picked up a gift bag and gave it to me. he told me he was told to give it to me, but he forgot who he was supposed to say it was from. but i knew, so it was okay. that's never happened before. so then everyone told me happy birthday, and some people attempted to sing to me. i was puzzled for a second as to how it landed in his room, because my friend doesn't have this teacher for government. but then i figured there was another person she could've given it to that probably left it there for my teacher to give to me. as it turns out, i was correct.

anyways, the ironic part. today we talked about the separation of church and state in government class. we had this worksheet that we filled out that listed all these court cases that delt with the separation of church and state. my friend gave me a t-shirt for my birthday, and it says "Pick Jesus", and it has a big picture of a guitar pick on it. i thought that was ironic how it landed in that room on the day when we talked about separating church and state. i thought it was pretty funny.

so far that's been the most interesting thing during my day today, with getting a gift in government class. after this all came about, i knew i had to post about it here, because it was just too good to leave unposted.

traveling in light vs. traveling in darkness

A few weeks ago, my friend Cait and i went shopping on a friday night. so i drove to her house to pick her up, and got lost on the way there. that's because she lives in a developement in the area, and i don't have much experiance driving in those developments, they're pretty tricky and all look the same. anyways, i did finally get to her house, i just missed her street and had to turn around. after i dropped her off when we were done, i got lost going from her house to mine. i missed the road to get back on the route that would take me into town. so i figured i would keep driving and find a road to turn off of and then turn around. well, there were no roads to turn off of. so i just kept going. after what seemed like forever i came upon a town. i saw a sign for a church, and figured out what town i was in. then i saw a traffic light, and this is going to sound really strange, but then i knew exactly how to get home. since it was about 9:15 or 9:20pm at that point, i decided to stop off at the McDonald's parking lot to call my parents to let them know that i was on my way home and i just got lost a little. i told them i'd be home by 9.

yesterday we had another shopping adventure. and when i dropped her off at home this time, i decided to go that same way, just to see what it looked like during the day. it turns out that during that drive there's a steep down slope on the ride side of the road. and at the bottom is a stream. i'm kinda of glad i didn't know that while i was driving in the dark. but i'm also glad none of my right drifting tendancies came back to me either. also, the drive didn't seem as long. when i came to the town, i was sure i missed something. and i've realized that with other things too, how it seems longer in the dark.

when i was driving in the dark, it seemed to take longer because i didn't know where i was going, and i could only see 250ft in front of me(300ft when i had my high-beams on). but during the daytime, i was able to see a whole lot further than that. i was about to see as far as the next curve in the road. so i saw the town sooner, and the intersection sooner.

i'm wondering if the same could be said about life, and different situations of it. i'm having a hard time applying that analogy to my own life, but i have thought of how it could be applied. maybe someone went through a situation before they became a Christian, or during a time when they had fallen away from God. during that time it may seem long and never ending, and if they know that they're lost and not on the right road, they may even be a little panicky because they have no clue where they are. so that would be driving on the road in the dark. then, maybe when the person becomes a Christian, or has a closer walk with God, they can see the same thing a whole lot differently. maybe they can be in that same situation, yet it's not that bad. they can see what's a head, and they know what's coming. i knew that i would pass through the town eventually. and maybe they'd know which part of that situation was coming. anyways, i felt much better about driving on that road during the day. it wasn't quite as fun as i thought, but it made for a great story. i just need to stop getting lost so much.

What a town!

It's amazing to see what a small town does in events like these. a week ago from today we all read in the paper that the head coach of my school's football team passed away. Oddly enough, he passed away on Friday, September 21, at 7:01pm. our friday night football games start at 7. I know God had a planning in that one. Anyways, on monday morning all the teachers had to read something to us about this coach, because he had been the head coach of the football team for over 25 years, and a teacher for a long time too. a lot of the teachers at my school who had been there a long time were taking it very hard on monday. but my homeroom teacher told us that we should be very thankful that we live in a small town such as ours. a town where many people go to the football games, even if they don't know anyone who goes to the high school. it's really nice because the football field is in a park right in town, and a lot of people just walk to the game. well, all the people who don't live in developements in the area. it's only two or three blocks away from my house. even on the nights when i work, i can hear the announcer from outside our house. and Main Street is always parked full of cars. actually, the street i live on is pretty parked up too, so it's hard to find a parking space coming home from work.

anyways, i didn't have to work last night, so i went to the football game for once. i haven't really had much motivation to go, because the people i always walked around with either graduated or have better things to do. but the girl who graduated comes home every weekend, so i was able to walk around with her during the game. except we seems to stop every ten feet because she saw someone she knew, and hadn't seen for a while. but i guess that's just what happens whenever someone is away for awhile. but i'm glad i went last night.

i knew they were going to something special in memory of the head coach who died. when i first got there with my dad and brother, i sat with them until the marching band was done with their thing. but we get there super early so they can get a good seat. so we watched as the two teams warmed up for the game and did their weekly routine. but there was something different about what they were wearing. they had some special shirt on. the mother of a football player in front of me said that they had special shirts made for the team. it said something about playing the game for the coach. even the assistant coaches had those shirts on, along with a lot of the behind the scenes people for the team. and then we heard that they were selling them. so during the course of the game, we saw many, many people wear these shirts. there was also a different shirt that a lot of people were wearing, but it had the same concept.

it's so amazing to see an entire town come together like that. i guess it shows how many lives were impacted by this coach. they read something special about him before the band played the national anthem.

our team still lost though. but it's been quite the week for the players and the coaches.

i really love this town. it may not be the ideal small town, but it's pretty good. and i'm really glad that my parents made an effort to buy a house in the school district. even if it had to be on the small side. at least we're in walking distance of the school, and our church. and i have a great school to go to.

what a crazy day

i can't type for long, so i can't really give the outlook for my entire day. but let's just say this: it was nuts. i woke up an hour late, got to drive, instead of walk, to school because i woke up late. somehow by the grace of God i still got there on time. this morning was SYATP, so i had to be at school by 6:55am. i had no study halls today, so it was a go, go, go day. and then some people were asking me about this test i'm taking in a half hour. i'm just praying that everything will go alright. and i just know that whatever happens at 9 tonight, it's God's will, and i need to be okay with that. actually, more than that, i need to like it. so for now, i'm hanging onto God and 1 Peter 5:7, which states "Cast all your anxieties on Him for He cares for you." i guess i can just pretend like i'm watching the game show. because i have no problem answering then. well, actually, sometimes i don't always answer allowed, because then i'm scared of what my dad or siblings will think about my answer. while my grades at school don't often show the extent of it, i seem to have a knack for trivia. just random stuff, really. i can do a lot of the history. the one part i'm a little worried about is pop culture. i'm okay with that, but i limit myself on the media i consume, so i'm not often up to par on that. but i'll see what i can do. i'll be sure to update again soon, but right now, i need to sign in for my test.

Where You're leading me

wow, it's been quite the week. one topic of conversation that keeps coming up at school is homecoming. it's not until the second week of october, but people like to start the hype about that early. i don't want to go, but some of my friends are trying to convince me to go.

a new Wegmans opened up last sunday. apparently at the grand opening there were supposed to be 15,000 people or so. i'm not sure if that's how many there were, or if there were more. i didn't think i could go to Wegmans this week, but then God made a way. i was at work on thursday, and they needed to send two people home. the more i think about it, this sounds like some reality tv show. or maybe that's because the new season of Survivor premiered that night. anyways, i said i'd go. after i said that, i realized i could stop at Wegmans on the way home. so it ended up that i had to give someone a ride home, he went with me. i'm glad i went with someone, instead of wondering around aimlessly by myself. i actually did need to pick up orange juice, because my mom asked me to if it wasn't too late when i was coming home. but i decided i probably didn't need to get it at Wegmans, because it would be cheaper at Giant. since Wegmans came in, Giant has had some major sales, and they've lowered practically all their prices on everything. so when we looked at the orange juice, it looked sort of expensive. although we had no clue, because we don't normally have a need to pay attention to these things.

anyways, did you know that there's a such thing as organic clothing? well, there is. and there's about 500 different kinds of cheeses at Wegmans. and that parking lot was pretty busy, and it was only thursday. i told Jared i wanted to know what this place would be like on friday night. but i didn't feel like driving out here to find out. so i drove him to his friend's house, and then went to Giant. i'm glad i went because i could get the same size and kind of orange juice container for about $1.50 less at Giant. not only that, but i also saw someone i knew at Giant. he used to go to my church, but he goes to a different church now, so i don't see him that much. it was really nice getting to talk to him a little bit.

anyways, back to relating this post to its title. it's interesting to see what God wants me to do, and where He wants me to go. looking ahead, some of the places might look a little scary, but i know that God and i can get through it just fine. So i'll just keep holding onto him, and let him bring me through everything, like that Bethany Dillon song says. It's like when i went to Wegmans, it was a little scary because of all the people and just the massiveness of it. but we got through it, and looked around.(after we marvled at how huge it is) and somehow we led ourselves though the store. at one point we got lost, but just kept going a certain way hoping that was the way out. and we got it. in the words of Jennifer Knapp, "With the Spirit as my guide, i'll never have to hide again."

being scammed

sometime during the summer, i received a letter saying that i hadn't paid for a subscription to a Christian magazine. i had never heard of the magazine, nor had i received a free issue or anything. at the time, my mom was at work, so i was just going to wait till she got home until i did anything with it. but then i started looking some stuff up on the internet. once i looked up the name of the person who signed the letter, i realized it was a scam. i found many websites that had these complaints and such. and an article that said to contact my local attorney general. well, i never did. but today i got another follow up letter from these people. i don't understand why these people would do such a thing.

when i was scammed a month or so ago, it was really fun once i found out that i was being scammed. my brother asked if it was fun this time, and i said not really. i just wish they would quit sending me these things. they're wasting their resources.

It's a good thing...

that i've done the 30-hour famine before. because i haven't eaten since 11:20ish this morning. so that's over nine hours without food. but i'm heating up some Boston Market Mac 'n Cheese.

I had more civil conversations today with that person i was talking about yesterday. i talked a lot about Christian club, and See You at the Pole. SYATP is on September 26th. i'm really excited because this year i'm one of the leaders for it. and i get to help lead worship. oh, that reminds me, i need to look up some stuff for that.

I'm so thankful to have a God who can work things out just perfectly. i saw that in action tonight. and thanks to that action, i know for sure that i'm going to a conference tomorrow. it's for students wanting to share their faith at school. since i'm one of the leaders of Christian Club, i figured it would be good for me to go. i'm open to any ideas God gives me.

well, it's going to be a crazy weekend. but i know i'll get through it just fine. i hope the rest of you have a nice, peaceful, and craziness free weekend. maybe i'll get that next week. actually, next week is my sister's 10th birthday. that's going to be loads of fun!

Something good to talk about

If i was a Christian artist and had a CD coming out, that's what i would name it. it comes from the chorus of a song i wrote last year. that song is about the "friendship" i've had with this guy at my school. well, i guess interaction is a better word for it. see, we first met in seventh grade, and every time we attempted at conversation, it ended with an argument. and for some reason he has this thing against my friends and myself. we just tried to come up with great come backs when one of us got into an argument with him. for some reason it seemed to always be me heading up the argument, and my friends backing me up. eventually they just happened to not be there.

Last year he was in my french class. we were always constantly at each other, except for if a certain event happened. there was another guy in my french class who's an atheist and would always get into arguments with him about Evolution v. Creationism, and arguments against Christianity in general. well, the guy that i always argued with would always turn to me and be like, "answer him." so then i would have to bail him out because apparently i have lots of knowledge for arguments such as those.

then, i realized that this guy and me could have a very civil and positive conversation if we talked about God and Church. so then i wrote this song about it. here's the chorus:

"Can we put our differences away for awhile,
And Find something good to talk about
'Cause we seem to disagree on everything but God
Which is when we team up to defend His name"

how crazy is that? so today, he was looking for one of my friends who helps lead Christian club. well, i help lead Christian club, so i asked him what he had a question about. and he told me. and i told him i would ask the proper person/people and get back to him soon. as i was walking off to homeroom, i realized i had just had a very civil conversation with him. i was shocked, i have to admit. we actually handled things almost like adults! we're growing up! that makes me very excited. i hope we can have more civil conversations in the future.

on another note, i didn't realize how many people noticed shoes. i had new shoes on today, and my homeroom teacher said something about them, and then a friend of mine in one of my classes, he said something. yes, i said he. i was very surprised too. i didn't think many guys noticed things like that.

Interesting Conversations

first of all, why does everyone act so surprised when they find out i'm a junior? i've gotten used to the idea, now why can't everyone else?

anyways, i would like to share a conversation that i had yesterday. it helped me realize something that i hadn't thought about before. i was talking with my friend Heather. she was in my chemistry class last year, and she's in my physics class this year. she also sits at my lunch table, which is where we had this conversation. she was talking about her boyfriend, and where they went over the weekend. she knows that i don't date. once she was done telling me about her weekend, she asked me what i was going to do in college when it comes to dating. i told her i was planning to go the courtship/friendship route, but wasn't too sure. so i'm letting God sort it all out. but i told her i'd just have to wait and see.

then we got talking about our future husbands. we were talking about how we could very well be acquainted with our future husbands now. and i have no clue what guys think about this, but to the two of us girls, it freaks us out. well, sometimes. then Heather was talking about how she would rather just know now whether her boyfriend and her will end up getting married. this is when i was struck with a new level of understanding.

see, i figured out, and told her, that if she did know, and if it would be a No from God, than she wouldn't put effort into the relationship. this is true with almost anyone. Heather probably wouldn't think the relationship was worth it, so there goes the effort. she wouldn't see a point. but God puts people in our lives for a reason. there's a reason why Heather and her boyfriend are together, whether they know that reason or not.

when i really try to think about this whole thing, i get really confused. but it goes right along with what my sunday school class is studying. we're talking about going through Perplexing situations. and i feel like i've been going through one lately. anyways, i had already known about God having specific purposes for all the people i come into contact with, but i guess it never really clicked like this.

so basically, we're back to the fact that i have no clue what i'm doing. i have no clue if where i'm aiming is right or not. but i'll just keep trusting God, and trust that He'll guide me in the way i need to go.

Who wants to think of a title for this one?

on the message board i'm apart of, i've been adding in my two cents to a topic another girl started. of course, it's a girl's forum, so there are lots of guy problems. well, we've all been helping this girl with some stuff. and if i feel like God wants me to post, i go for it. most of my advice that i give to her just comes from the events of my life, and what i've learned from them. well, there's also books i've read. so anyways, i sent her a private message about something, because it just seems like we're both in situations where the only conclution i can come to is that it will work out. we're just going through, hoping we're doing the right thing. but she told me that she loves all the advice i give. and when i told her it's a God-thing with what comes through the keyboard and onto the screen, she said it must be a God-thing when she receives it because every time it's something she really needs to hear. I am always amazed when she says stuff like that, because that makes it seem like i have it all together. it's just strange to think that someone thinks so highly, and finds value in what i have to say.

in other news, i came up with a few more lyrics and verses to put on my locker. i'm going to really have to be creative with how i fit all this stuff on. i really like the size of our lockers, however some of the surface area is not condusive to hanging lyrics.

Starting New

there's someone out there who needs to hear what i have to say. hear, that's kinda funny. i can't email this person, i can't write any more notes, or send anymore letters. so i'm letting the whole world know that i, Abby, am starting over. see, there's something i tried to do, but didn't follow through with it, and misused my safety nets. i mis-used the people around me,(well, person) for communication. i don't know how i'm going to solve this "ultimate" problem, but i have help. i have a group of teen girls who are there for me whenever i need them. they let me vent if i'm having a hard time, and all kinds of nice stuff. i know they can come up with ideas, and we can all brainstorm and help me through this. anyways, this "thing", it was supposed to go on for a month, and end the week before my birthday. well, i decided i want a clean slate. so i'm going to try again. Praise God for second chances. or three or four. so now this "thing" is going to go on until the week after my birthday. and i decided that if i mess up, i'm just going to have to start again, and say, a month from tomorrow. i need to be harder on myself. i need to stretch this to the extremes. i decided that i'm going to take this a little further. be more...deliberate i think is the word i need.

in the meantime, in the words of Mister Rogers "Let's think of something to do while we're waiting." so, i'll work on my SHP paper. i'll practice piano more. i'll spend more time with God. i'll do something to get my mind off of it.

so if the right person is reading this, i hope you don't hear from me for awhile. i hope nothing drastic happens while you're not hearing from me. despite the doubts i know if God has called me to do this, He and i will be able to complete the task at hand. I think that's all my tired mind has for now. Good-night to all.

"ya gotta keep on looking up!"

that's a song quote from the O.C. Supertones. anyways, i went to work last night. it was okay. there was a local football team that came. and practically trashed the place.(and all i have to show from that is a penny!) i have this system down whenever i clear tables after people leave. usually i pile all the trash on the plates, and then take it back. but this time i just worked my way down the line in clearing dishes. it made me feel like i was actually getting something done. but i made many trips into that room and out. and there were some other people in other places, so i had to keep checking on them. but it wasn't that bad.

by the time i left, i was really fed up with everyone swearing. fortunately i planned ahead and grabbed my Audio Adrenaline "Audios" CD when i went out the door. so when i left work, i got to drive on the Pike to "Big House". and then by the time i was on one of the roads leading back to town, i was listening and singing along with "Never Gonna be as big as Jesus". it made me feel really good.

also, at work, we saw some deer in the empty lot next to the building. there's a forest area near the building. at one point, there were two families standing looking out the window with fasinated lookds on their faces. so i went over to see what they were looking at. there were five deer hanging out in that lot. i guess they were eating dinner, but i'm not sure. it was cool because there were some little kids there at the time, so they really had fun watching this. i told them they came on the right night. so we watched them for a little longer and then watched them go back into the forest. the one dad asked me if we saw stuff like this often. i told him that was my first time seeing anything like that. but it was weird seeing such a peaceful animal near such a busy road. it just isn't an area where anyone would expect to see any deer.

and i would like to thank all of you for all your encouragement. i was able to read all your comments this morning. hopefully today will be a bit better.

one and lonely

why do i have to be a loner? it seems i've been like that all my life. first of all, i'm the only left hander in my family. and in church no one was ever really my friend. at least, no one wanted to be. making fun of me or totally ignoring me all together was always so much easier. well, actually they never caused me any problems until middle school. but i still ended up being the odd one out. in school, in all my classes no one ever wants to be my partner. it's like i have some kind of sign over my head that says i'm a bad person or something. i have friends in my classes, but they always have closer friends who'd they would like to be partners with. so they always end up being partners, except for when there's a project where three people may work together.

last year in french class, is a perfect example of this. we were supposed to be partners with the person sitting next to us. well, for the entire year, i sat in a seat with no one beside me. it was horrible. and then i think Madame felt bad for me because she made me the "techy" person of the class. if the projector or tv didn't work, she'd call me "Elisabeth" to come to the rescue. and while i'm okay with stuff like that, i'm not top notch. so sometimes i'd get it going again, but not always.

my teachers basically all get used to the fact that i work alone. what they don't know is that sometimes i would be so much better working with someone else, because i can't do it all myself. in the words of a band called Mae, "Sometimes i can't make it alone." Whenever we did the posters of a region for cooking class, mine never got voted for because i'm not an artsy person, and no one wanted to work with me to help make it look better.

today in Government class, we worked on worksheets, and we were supposed to work with a partner. guess who didn't have a partner? like i said, teachers catch on quick that i work by myself. and then instead of working on my worksheet, i ended up thinking about how people hate working with me, and i had tears running down my face. of course, i tried to hold as many back as possible, because there's so many people in that class. but no one cared anyways. and then there were no time for tears in math class because i had a quiz to conquer. but it's interesting how no one seems to care. they're really wrapped up in their picture perfect life.

at church i end up hanging out with all the adults. i even dropped out of the high school sunday school class to join one of the adult sunday school classes. but that's because I felt God telling me it was time to change. He finally said "Go!" (and i'm so glad he did!) apparently the high school class has never been the same since.

another thing, i find i've been hanging out with seniors a lot. and i'm a junior. so i don't know what i'm going to do once they all leave. but i'm not worried about that quite yet.

well, that's my rant for now. basically, no one talks to me in any of my classes. well, except for physics. a good friend of mine is in there, and sits next to me, and is my lab partner. i'm so thankful to have her in that class. none of us are really good friends with anyone else in the class.

and i know that God is with me always, and Jesus (and the WORD FM) will always be my best friend. even if no one else conciders me their best friend, Jesus will. i know he loves me so much, and i love him so much too. i wouldn't be sitting here otherwise.

Growing up

Someone told me today that i'm not allowed to grow up. this is probably because he's known me for basically my whole life. he was a little shocked today in gym class when he found out that i have my driver's license. i think i reminded him that he's growing up to. i mean, after all, he's the one graduating in june. is surprising me that all those Class of '08 people are so close to being done. they're now the ones all worried about what College to go to and everything.

obviously i can't just stop growing up. but i do wish life had a pause button. sometimes things go a little too fast for my liking. so sometimes i wish i could just push the pause button and think about things a little. unfortunately, i can't do that. so i'm sure i'll manage.

what an evening i had!

last night i had the most interesting experience. i was IMing my friend Liz, and i was going to try to show her a video my brother made on the family digital camera. i was having trouble with that, and then my foot started itching. so itch, itch, itch, itch, itch. then i asked Liz why my foot was itching, as if God had given her a special gift of telling people why a part of their body was itchy. so then, i looked down at my foot, and it was really red. and then my ring finger on my left hand starts itching. so itch, itch, itch, itch. so finally i conclude there has got to be something wrong with me. so i go over to my brother, as if he's some kind of doctor or something.(not!) he said maybe it was an allergic reaction. i really wasn't sure about that, because usually my allergic reactions include my throat swelling up. plus, i hadn't eaten anything in two hours. so this conversation concluded my brother asking me, "what did you eat", me answering, "nothing i'm allergic to", and then me putting my foot up on the computer desk and discovering that i now had bumps on my foot and finger. they looked like i had bug bites. so then my mom looks at them. she said i should probably take some benadryl. but i was convinced they were bug bites. the only odd part about that was that there weren't any bugs flying around me. so upstairs i go to get some cream to put on them. so i started putting cream on them, but then there were more on both my legs that kept popping up. i showed my mom those, and then decided to take the benadryl. and boy did they hurt. but i took one of those dissolvable stips.

they still itched a lot. but i just pretended it was the time when i was at youth group at the park and got 23 mosquito bites. because it hurt just like that. shortly after i took the benadryl, the bump on my finger went away. so it turns out that they were hives. some of them are still there, but they don't hurt like they did last night. and they're smaller than they were last night. needless to say it made my sunday evening interesting.

we're not really sure if the hives are because i ate something or just random. i know i didn't eat anything with nuts in it. all i had was a chocolate chip cookie pie piece. and i checked afterwards and confirmed that there were no nuts in it. and then i had Chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. with milk chocolate shell. so there's nothing there that could've caused it. not that i know of. but like i said, it could've been something random. i don't know. i just know that if it happens again, i'll take beandryl right away. when my dad saw my hives, and heard about how i took benadryl, he muttered something about how he thinks maybe we should invest in benadryl. i certainly wouldn't be here without it. well, i probably would, but it enabled me to go through allergic reactions quicker and with ease.

while we're on this note, i should mention that now i may be allergic to chicken. we're still waiting for the blood test results, but the other test they did showed that i'm allergic. i'm sort of sad, but i guess i could get used to it. i guess that means no more Chic-fil-a. but they fry their chicken in peanut oil, so i wasn't sure if that was going to be okay or not anyways. but i could still go there and just get ice cream! or a baked-potato.

all the right songs

yesterday when i was listening to the radio, all the right songs played on the radio. songs about being alone, yet not being alone, because God is always with us. the one that i heard during the afternoon is by a band called BDA and the chorus of this song goes:

"But you can't say that we are alone, you can't say that we are alone anymore, we can't say that we are alone. we are anything else, we are anything else. 'cause Love is here, 'cause Love is here with me now. "

there this other song that's by a band called Storyside B, and it's called "Be Still". but during the bridge, it goes something like this:

"is this you, and is this me? it's sometimes hard to believe that I am not alone. It's not just you, and not just me, we all need to believe that we are not alone."

those two songs, along with a few others really spoke to me yesterday. prove that God has a hand in what songs are played and at what time. i think it's so awesome to experiance that sort of thing. it's probably because i have some much intrest in music.

family from long ago

my dad has been doing a whole lot of searching for our ancestors. our county's library system offers this Heritage thing online where anyone with a library card in our county can look at different censuses and all kinds of things. last night my dad was looking at some cemetery records. see, his grandmother, we all call her Nana, died about on and a half years ago. she's buried in one of the oldest cemeteries around this area. apparently some of her other family members are buried there too. so Dad wanted to find all those grave stones and take pictures of them to show his Aunt Joan, Nana's daughter. so my dad and my sister were going to go to the cemetery, and i decided that i may as well go along. i'm glad i did. first we showed Anna Nana's grave, because i was the only one of us three kids who went to the funeral. so we showed her that, and then we started our search. Dad figured out from a website where section A was. so we drove near that, and started looking. i spotted all the ones that we wanted to find. there were four in all, and it was very interesting finding them. we found out that my great-great-great grandfather may have fought in the Civil War on the Union side. but i think my dad wants to find more information on that.

so all in all it was a very informational morning. on the way there and back Dad was telling us stories about Nana when she was growing up. she used to walk from one town to the other for high school. i've always thought that my parents live in a "foreign town" compared to where they grew up. but it turns out that some of my ancestors lived in or around this town. that's nice to know. there are people in this town who have so many generations who have lived here. and i haven't been one of those people. but at least there were a few people related to me who've lived here.

School

i just finished the first week of my junior year of high school. i'm kinda exhausted, but i know i'll get used to it okay. two days a cycle(my school has six day cycles) i have two study halls in a row. and today i had those two study halls in a row, and halfway through the second one i was really bored. these study halls are during second and third period. so i got everything done that was assigned for the weekend from my first class, and stuff i still needed to do for my other classes. and then, i had nothing else to do. fortunately, i will have lots of time to work on my Senior High Project paper and presentation. well, i'll just work on the paper for now. but at least if i have that stuff with me it'll be good to make some headway on that.

although, then again, once student commons opens up, i may find other things to do and people to talk to down there. we'll see what happens.

oh, this all being said, i probably won't be writting quite as much with all the other stuff i need to get done. i'm aiming for weekend postings, but i can't make any promises. so i'll just post when i think of it and have time.

Junior Girl

I officially become a "junior girl" tomorrow. it feels weird saying that. i've felt strange all summer saying that i was going to be a junior. i've gotten used to telling people that i'm going to be a junior, and i've become more accustom to the idea. but not fully. i suppose tomorrow will be like any other first day of school. read the handbook thingy for an hour and half or so, and then go through your day. oh, and bring lots of papers home for my mom to fill out. this year i have to drop stuff off at the nurse's office, since i'm allergic to stuff now. or rather, we know for sure that i'm allergic to stuff. so that'll be new and different. i'm excited. today i realized that i only have two first days of school left. well, in the public school system. i like public school though. it's a nice mission field if one choses to think about it that way. and actually there are a lot of us christians who go to my school. so it's nice to have them to connect with. we get a good sized crowd for SYATP every year. so anyways, i'm praying that tomorrow goes well.

Nothing like Snoopy

Every year for Chirstmas i ask for a Snoopy Calendar from my aunt. this past yeah, and the year before that the calendar has been a "happiness" calendar. you know, those books "Happiness Is..." well, each month i've been thinking about what happiness is. this month, according to the calendar, Happiness is watching an old movie. it just so happens that a few weeks ago i decided to make some changes about all the media i take in. so i've ruled out a lot of movies that my family owns. but last night my sister decided to watch Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. so i watched part of it last night and the last parts this morning. so that was my old movie for the month. and now i'm watching "Snoopy Come Home". my parents taped it whenever it came on sometime in the early 90s. i'm guessing 1993 or something because after this tape there's some christmas thing with Amy Grant, and i'm pretty sure it's from 1994. so maybe they showed this movie in '94. i really don't know. but it was a long time ago and you can tell from a lot of things. the commercials for one. they seem really cheesy now. and did you relize how boxy the trucks were? but they aren't as bad with content as the commercials are now. at least, not that i've seen. i think it'd be interesting to do a mass media study like that. and i just found out that KISS 99.3 FM used to be called Mix 99.3. that's very interesting.

so anyways, i love Snoopy. i share a birthday with him, which it probably the reason why i love the Peanuts comic so much. and now this year another reason to like those Peanuts is because i'm allergic to the food peanuts. so at least i'm not allergic to the Peanuts comic! that'd be very weird. so i'll have to see what the happiness thing is next month.

J'ai Faim

So last night, i went to work and then went to Wal-Mart. I needed sticky tack and confetti. yeah, i know, it's a weird combination. i guess i could stick the confetti to the sticky tack. but i don't want to do that. so then i came home. my parents were away visiting some friends of ours, and Joel was home, because he had evening practice for cross-country, so he didn't go with my parents and Anna. When i came home, Joel was on the computer. A few minutes later he asked me when Wiser's opened the next morning. Wiser's is a very small grocery store a few blocks away from us. he said that he was going to go there in the morning to get Cereal, because all we had was Special K and Rice Krispies. We needed something with substance. It was about 10:00pm, and i said that technically i could go out to Giant and get some cereal, but i didn't feel like doing that. so we decided that Joel would wake me up when he woke up, and then i was supposed to get ready and take him to Giant to get cereal.

so he woke me, and then went to ask Dad if we could go to Giant. Dad said to ask Mom. Mom told us not to go to Giant, but to go to Walmart. Then she told us specific cereals to get. so i got to make another trip out to Walmart. it was the first time i've driven with someone since i got my lisence. but it was fine. but i was really hungry by the time we got home. so i just opened up a box and had my breakfast. so now we have cereal.

that's about it for now.

More thoughts

I was thinking more about the "Diving in Heart first" thing. see, diving in heart first could be concidered deciding things by emotions(in America, the heart is the seat of the emotion) instead of logic(brain). and i think it depends on the situation. and then there drawing the line between emotions and feelings. i've been told that i shouldn't let feelings control my emotions. it's great advice really. It's been a wonderful reminder for the past two years that i've heard it. so basically i guess the long and short of it is that we should be leaning on God for everything, and letting him tell us what to do. that's what i've been trying to do. and i will continue to try my best to do that.

comments

i would just like to say that i love the comments i get on this blog, as well as my other blog. it was esspecially exciting when the first comment on The Squeaky Show Blog was in a totally different language! i've been reading a lot lately about how people have chosen to disable their comments, or they have posted disclaimers about what people are allowed to comment about. personally, i don't really care. comment all you want. i would appriciate it if you would keep the mean comments to yourself, but if you feel a need to post them, that's fine. i really don't mind. i really do want to hear people's opinion on my posts. i do have some ideas that are a little "out there" sometimes. at least, compared to everyone else's ideas they seem out there. and if you don't agree with that, it's fine. you are allowed to comment and say that you don't agree. it is a free country after all.

okay, so maybe the reason i'm okay with people commenting is because i don't get many comments. i see i've gotten a few here and there, and they've all been great. so go ahead, comment all you want.

Let's just focus on now

There's some big things coming up in my life tomorrow. and i'm trying really hard to rely on God fully, and not be worried. because i've been told that i worry too much. but i'm working on it. but this thing that's coming up tomorrow, i've had a hard time not worrying about it. whenever i think about it, i have to force myself to think about something else to get my mind off of it. i just know that i will be victorious tomorrow in what i do. and i feel even more confident than last time.

anywho, last night when i was praying about it, i felt like God was telling me "just focus on tomorrow". and today, the motto thought became "Just focus on today". so i'm trying to focus on what's right in front of me, and what needs to be done right now. i've already felt God tell me that He will be with me through all things tomorrow, and i can do this. i just don't want to be too cocky about it.

but enough about it, i need to focus on right now.

Two weeks

In two weeks from today, i will be embarking on the second half of high school. From the looks of it, it's going to be an exciting year. a hard one, yet exciting. i don't think it has officially clicked yet that i'm going to be a junior. but i think it took a little while to totally realize i was a sophomore last year. tomorrow is when my mom is taking us on the big back to school shopping trip. when we went to our new Target, i got a few things, like a binder/notebook thing. so all i need is pencils, and more notebook paper. well, i also need a backpack and sneakers. but we'll try to find all that tomorrow.

another "annual" thing i usually do is clean off my desk. well, i guess i just started last year. i think last year i was at my dad's office, and one of his co-workers was cleaning off her desk. and she said it really made her feel better. so i figured it couldn't hurt. so last year i actually took Formula 409 to my desk. but this year i think it's going to be more organizing and stuff. and i like to clear these things while i listen to Adventures in Odyssey. It's nice because i can see how much i can get done in a half an hour's time.

i think i'll work on that today, once i get ready for the day and everything. i have a strange feeling that the next two weeks will fly. i just need to hold on and enjoy the ride. but i know i'm ready.

A new forming Idea

So this thing came into my head the other day. i was thinking about diving into something, with something being some kind of activity, relationship or whatever. but then the phrase "diving in heart first" came to my mind. I haven't developed this enough to come up with an entire metaphor. I don't know whether diving in heart first is a good thing, or a bad thing, and i don't know whether it's something that we should be doing, or shoudn't be doing. i need to ponder this a little more. but i just wanted to put it out there. right now i'm leaning towards that it's a bad thing because it doesn't really allow for logic. but maybe there's a happy medium, like if we would make sure logic is there with the heart while they're diving. it's like the album by Unsearchable Riches called "Put your Heart where Your Head Is". wait a second, they mean something different. never mind, i don't know where i come up with these things.

you know that feeling?

this morning when i got up i felt that feeling. it's the feeling you get when waking up in a different bed than your own. whether it's staying a my Grandma's house, camp, or West Virginia. I just realized this morning that it has a feeling. see, we have air conditioning downstairs, and downstairs only. my room that i share with my sister is in the back corner of the house. so it's very cold in the winter, and very hot in the summer. but it's all good because i get the best radio reception in the house, and that's all i care about. but last night was really hot. and i guess i fell asleep for awhile, but then woke up at 2:30AM or so. then, at 3 i went downstairs to the nice cool living room. i had troubles getting to sleep down there because there was a fan being very loud. so i turned that down a notch, and grabbed my portable tape player/radio(i love it!). i started listening to Christian music, but craved classical. so thank God for WITF radio. they play classical music all through the night. so i started listening to that.

i guess i fell asleep sometime soon after 4, because the next thing i knew my brother came downstairs and turned on the light and the computer. i don't think he even noticed me for 45 minutes or so. that was at 4:50. crazy, but true. it didn't matter anyways, because at 5, WITF starts NPR news. I guess there are a lot of NPR listeners around here that get up around 5 or so and listen to NPR, so they don't want to hear classical music. so then i just listened to Christian radio some more, and didn't get a chance to fall asleep again. so it'll be interesting to see how this day goes. i don't drink coffee or soda, so i don't intake caffine. but God can give me energy!

Part of the reason why i had troubles sleeping was because i was thinking about yesterday. it was a very interesting day to say the least. it had it's highs and lows. things i was so happy about, and then other things that i never want to think about again, yet i can't avoid.

another thing is that i'm trying to get back into the habit of going to bed early and getting up early. i've been doing pretty good this summer about getting up before 8am. usually 6:30 at the earliest. but i haven't been going to bed until ten o'clock. and i really don't give myself any winddown time, which is probably why it takes me so long to fall asleep. usually i just go right from an activity like watching tv, or being on the computer to going to bed. school only starts in a few more weeks, so i need to get back into all those habits again.

it kinda won't help though that my sister will want to stay up late. but as long as i'm asleep before she comes in the room, i think i'll be okay.

so, back to my point. when i finally decided to get up this morning, i felt like i was in West Virginia on the missions trip waking up at the 4-H camp. but then it also felt like whenever i wake up at Grandma's house. maybe that's because i slept in the chair in the living room, and whenever i stay there, i sleep in a chair. basically it was like waking up anywhere other than my room.

Craziness

the three of us kids are really hyper today. it's just been one exciting thing after another. the surprise for my friend got to his house, Joel, Anna, and I watched some Lawrence Welk Special while folding clothes, then Anna and Joel had an all out croc war. and i have no clue where my mom is. right now i think she's still at work. so this day has been a little crazy. but through it all i can see how God worked through today. God is so cool. and He has a sense of humor. it's great. I hope i can find some songs to go along with this to play on the radio tomorrow. we'll have to see.

a quote to think about...

Here's that quote i promised:
"When God says no to something, it's because he's saying yes to something better"
-Joshua Harris in his book Not Even a Hint

that really encouraged me when i read it. i think i'll print it out in pretty writing and post it on my locker this school year. last year i had a little theme going. it was a love theme of sorts. at the top i had the chorus to "embers and envelopes" by Mae. That talks about forgiveness and stuff like that. Under that one i had "Divine Romance" by Phil Wickham. In that song it expresses the kind of romance we can have with God. then i printed out all the lyrics to "Maybe Tomorrow" by Nouveux. that talks about waiting for one's future spouse. They were very encouraging to me throughout last school year. but this year i want new songs, new themes, and new quotes. we'll just have to see what God provides.

Sorry i haven't posted in a week...

okay, so i don't think i'll ever post the pictures of my hair. but you can always go on my mom's blog! it seems i've taken a vacation from blogging. Part of the reason for that is because i was working on a really big project. so any time i was on the computer, it was to do this project. no, it's not for School. It was assigned by God. and when God says Go, there's really no way to stop from going. so i worked on that for four days.

It seems today i've been presented with lots of choices. this morning i went to the hardware store because...just because. while i was there, i got some packing tape for my mom. unfortunately, i didn't check which size the dispenser thing uses. so i just got the small with the dispencer. that was wrong. oh well, at least she now has two sizes! then, i was making blond brownies, but didn't have enough brown sugar. so then i had to walk to the grocery store. when i got there, i realized i didn't ask whether she uses light or dark brown sugar. so i chose dark. wrong again. oh well. Mom said it really didn't matter. the good parts of this is: a) i got the name brand of packing tape; and b) at least i was able to still make my blond brownies.

so that's it for now. who knows what i'm going to post about next. oh, i will be posting a wonderful quote i found the other night. but i'll get to that later.