What a town!

It's amazing to see what a small town does in events like these. a week ago from today we all read in the paper that the head coach of my school's football team passed away. Oddly enough, he passed away on Friday, September 21, at 7:01pm. our friday night football games start at 7. I know God had a planning in that one. Anyways, on monday morning all the teachers had to read something to us about this coach, because he had been the head coach of the football team for over 25 years, and a teacher for a long time too. a lot of the teachers at my school who had been there a long time were taking it very hard on monday. but my homeroom teacher told us that we should be very thankful that we live in a small town such as ours. a town where many people go to the football games, even if they don't know anyone who goes to the high school. it's really nice because the football field is in a park right in town, and a lot of people just walk to the game. well, all the people who don't live in developements in the area. it's only two or three blocks away from my house. even on the nights when i work, i can hear the announcer from outside our house. and Main Street is always parked full of cars. actually, the street i live on is pretty parked up too, so it's hard to find a parking space coming home from work.

anyways, i didn't have to work last night, so i went to the football game for once. i haven't really had much motivation to go, because the people i always walked around with either graduated or have better things to do. but the girl who graduated comes home every weekend, so i was able to walk around with her during the game. except we seems to stop every ten feet because she saw someone she knew, and hadn't seen for a while. but i guess that's just what happens whenever someone is away for awhile. but i'm glad i went last night.

i knew they were going to something special in memory of the head coach who died. when i first got there with my dad and brother, i sat with them until the marching band was done with their thing. but we get there super early so they can get a good seat. so we watched as the two teams warmed up for the game and did their weekly routine. but there was something different about what they were wearing. they had some special shirt on. the mother of a football player in front of me said that they had special shirts made for the team. it said something about playing the game for the coach. even the assistant coaches had those shirts on, along with a lot of the behind the scenes people for the team. and then we heard that they were selling them. so during the course of the game, we saw many, many people wear these shirts. there was also a different shirt that a lot of people were wearing, but it had the same concept.

it's so amazing to see an entire town come together like that. i guess it shows how many lives were impacted by this coach. they read something special about him before the band played the national anthem.

our team still lost though. but it's been quite the week for the players and the coaches.

i really love this town. it may not be the ideal small town, but it's pretty good. and i'm really glad that my parents made an effort to buy a house in the school district. even if it had to be on the small side. at least we're in walking distance of the school, and our church. and i have a great school to go to.

what a crazy day

i can't type for long, so i can't really give the outlook for my entire day. but let's just say this: it was nuts. i woke up an hour late, got to drive, instead of walk, to school because i woke up late. somehow by the grace of God i still got there on time. this morning was SYATP, so i had to be at school by 6:55am. i had no study halls today, so it was a go, go, go day. and then some people were asking me about this test i'm taking in a half hour. i'm just praying that everything will go alright. and i just know that whatever happens at 9 tonight, it's God's will, and i need to be okay with that. actually, more than that, i need to like it. so for now, i'm hanging onto God and 1 Peter 5:7, which states "Cast all your anxieties on Him for He cares for you." i guess i can just pretend like i'm watching the game show. because i have no problem answering then. well, actually, sometimes i don't always answer allowed, because then i'm scared of what my dad or siblings will think about my answer. while my grades at school don't often show the extent of it, i seem to have a knack for trivia. just random stuff, really. i can do a lot of the history. the one part i'm a little worried about is pop culture. i'm okay with that, but i limit myself on the media i consume, so i'm not often up to par on that. but i'll see what i can do. i'll be sure to update again soon, but right now, i need to sign in for my test.

Where You're leading me

wow, it's been quite the week. one topic of conversation that keeps coming up at school is homecoming. it's not until the second week of october, but people like to start the hype about that early. i don't want to go, but some of my friends are trying to convince me to go.

a new Wegmans opened up last sunday. apparently at the grand opening there were supposed to be 15,000 people or so. i'm not sure if that's how many there were, or if there were more. i didn't think i could go to Wegmans this week, but then God made a way. i was at work on thursday, and they needed to send two people home. the more i think about it, this sounds like some reality tv show. or maybe that's because the new season of Survivor premiered that night. anyways, i said i'd go. after i said that, i realized i could stop at Wegmans on the way home. so it ended up that i had to give someone a ride home, he went with me. i'm glad i went with someone, instead of wondering around aimlessly by myself. i actually did need to pick up orange juice, because my mom asked me to if it wasn't too late when i was coming home. but i decided i probably didn't need to get it at Wegmans, because it would be cheaper at Giant. since Wegmans came in, Giant has had some major sales, and they've lowered practically all their prices on everything. so when we looked at the orange juice, it looked sort of expensive. although we had no clue, because we don't normally have a need to pay attention to these things.

anyways, did you know that there's a such thing as organic clothing? well, there is. and there's about 500 different kinds of cheeses at Wegmans. and that parking lot was pretty busy, and it was only thursday. i told Jared i wanted to know what this place would be like on friday night. but i didn't feel like driving out here to find out. so i drove him to his friend's house, and then went to Giant. i'm glad i went because i could get the same size and kind of orange juice container for about $1.50 less at Giant. not only that, but i also saw someone i knew at Giant. he used to go to my church, but he goes to a different church now, so i don't see him that much. it was really nice getting to talk to him a little bit.

anyways, back to relating this post to its title. it's interesting to see what God wants me to do, and where He wants me to go. looking ahead, some of the places might look a little scary, but i know that God and i can get through it just fine. So i'll just keep holding onto him, and let him bring me through everything, like that Bethany Dillon song says. It's like when i went to Wegmans, it was a little scary because of all the people and just the massiveness of it. but we got through it, and looked around.(after we marvled at how huge it is) and somehow we led ourselves though the store. at one point we got lost, but just kept going a certain way hoping that was the way out. and we got it. in the words of Jennifer Knapp, "With the Spirit as my guide, i'll never have to hide again."

being scammed

sometime during the summer, i received a letter saying that i hadn't paid for a subscription to a Christian magazine. i had never heard of the magazine, nor had i received a free issue or anything. at the time, my mom was at work, so i was just going to wait till she got home until i did anything with it. but then i started looking some stuff up on the internet. once i looked up the name of the person who signed the letter, i realized it was a scam. i found many websites that had these complaints and such. and an article that said to contact my local attorney general. well, i never did. but today i got another follow up letter from these people. i don't understand why these people would do such a thing.

when i was scammed a month or so ago, it was really fun once i found out that i was being scammed. my brother asked if it was fun this time, and i said not really. i just wish they would quit sending me these things. they're wasting their resources.

It's a good thing...

that i've done the 30-hour famine before. because i haven't eaten since 11:20ish this morning. so that's over nine hours without food. but i'm heating up some Boston Market Mac 'n Cheese.

I had more civil conversations today with that person i was talking about yesterday. i talked a lot about Christian club, and See You at the Pole. SYATP is on September 26th. i'm really excited because this year i'm one of the leaders for it. and i get to help lead worship. oh, that reminds me, i need to look up some stuff for that.

I'm so thankful to have a God who can work things out just perfectly. i saw that in action tonight. and thanks to that action, i know for sure that i'm going to a conference tomorrow. it's for students wanting to share their faith at school. since i'm one of the leaders of Christian Club, i figured it would be good for me to go. i'm open to any ideas God gives me.

well, it's going to be a crazy weekend. but i know i'll get through it just fine. i hope the rest of you have a nice, peaceful, and craziness free weekend. maybe i'll get that next week. actually, next week is my sister's 10th birthday. that's going to be loads of fun!

Something good to talk about

If i was a Christian artist and had a CD coming out, that's what i would name it. it comes from the chorus of a song i wrote last year. that song is about the "friendship" i've had with this guy at my school. well, i guess interaction is a better word for it. see, we first met in seventh grade, and every time we attempted at conversation, it ended with an argument. and for some reason he has this thing against my friends and myself. we just tried to come up with great come backs when one of us got into an argument with him. for some reason it seemed to always be me heading up the argument, and my friends backing me up. eventually they just happened to not be there.

Last year he was in my french class. we were always constantly at each other, except for if a certain event happened. there was another guy in my french class who's an atheist and would always get into arguments with him about Evolution v. Creationism, and arguments against Christianity in general. well, the guy that i always argued with would always turn to me and be like, "answer him." so then i would have to bail him out because apparently i have lots of knowledge for arguments such as those.

then, i realized that this guy and me could have a very civil and positive conversation if we talked about God and Church. so then i wrote this song about it. here's the chorus:

"Can we put our differences away for awhile,
And Find something good to talk about
'Cause we seem to disagree on everything but God
Which is when we team up to defend His name"

how crazy is that? so today, he was looking for one of my friends who helps lead Christian club. well, i help lead Christian club, so i asked him what he had a question about. and he told me. and i told him i would ask the proper person/people and get back to him soon. as i was walking off to homeroom, i realized i had just had a very civil conversation with him. i was shocked, i have to admit. we actually handled things almost like adults! we're growing up! that makes me very excited. i hope we can have more civil conversations in the future.

on another note, i didn't realize how many people noticed shoes. i had new shoes on today, and my homeroom teacher said something about them, and then a friend of mine in one of my classes, he said something. yes, i said he. i was very surprised too. i didn't think many guys noticed things like that.

Interesting Conversations

first of all, why does everyone act so surprised when they find out i'm a junior? i've gotten used to the idea, now why can't everyone else?

anyways, i would like to share a conversation that i had yesterday. it helped me realize something that i hadn't thought about before. i was talking with my friend Heather. she was in my chemistry class last year, and she's in my physics class this year. she also sits at my lunch table, which is where we had this conversation. she was talking about her boyfriend, and where they went over the weekend. she knows that i don't date. once she was done telling me about her weekend, she asked me what i was going to do in college when it comes to dating. i told her i was planning to go the courtship/friendship route, but wasn't too sure. so i'm letting God sort it all out. but i told her i'd just have to wait and see.

then we got talking about our future husbands. we were talking about how we could very well be acquainted with our future husbands now. and i have no clue what guys think about this, but to the two of us girls, it freaks us out. well, sometimes. then Heather was talking about how she would rather just know now whether her boyfriend and her will end up getting married. this is when i was struck with a new level of understanding.

see, i figured out, and told her, that if she did know, and if it would be a No from God, than she wouldn't put effort into the relationship. this is true with almost anyone. Heather probably wouldn't think the relationship was worth it, so there goes the effort. she wouldn't see a point. but God puts people in our lives for a reason. there's a reason why Heather and her boyfriend are together, whether they know that reason or not.

when i really try to think about this whole thing, i get really confused. but it goes right along with what my sunday school class is studying. we're talking about going through Perplexing situations. and i feel like i've been going through one lately. anyways, i had already known about God having specific purposes for all the people i come into contact with, but i guess it never really clicked like this.

so basically, we're back to the fact that i have no clue what i'm doing. i have no clue if where i'm aiming is right or not. but i'll just keep trusting God, and trust that He'll guide me in the way i need to go.

Who wants to think of a title for this one?

on the message board i'm apart of, i've been adding in my two cents to a topic another girl started. of course, it's a girl's forum, so there are lots of guy problems. well, we've all been helping this girl with some stuff. and if i feel like God wants me to post, i go for it. most of my advice that i give to her just comes from the events of my life, and what i've learned from them. well, there's also books i've read. so anyways, i sent her a private message about something, because it just seems like we're both in situations where the only conclution i can come to is that it will work out. we're just going through, hoping we're doing the right thing. but she told me that she loves all the advice i give. and when i told her it's a God-thing with what comes through the keyboard and onto the screen, she said it must be a God-thing when she receives it because every time it's something she really needs to hear. I am always amazed when she says stuff like that, because that makes it seem like i have it all together. it's just strange to think that someone thinks so highly, and finds value in what i have to say.

in other news, i came up with a few more lyrics and verses to put on my locker. i'm going to really have to be creative with how i fit all this stuff on. i really like the size of our lockers, however some of the surface area is not condusive to hanging lyrics.

Starting New

there's someone out there who needs to hear what i have to say. hear, that's kinda funny. i can't email this person, i can't write any more notes, or send anymore letters. so i'm letting the whole world know that i, Abby, am starting over. see, there's something i tried to do, but didn't follow through with it, and misused my safety nets. i mis-used the people around me,(well, person) for communication. i don't know how i'm going to solve this "ultimate" problem, but i have help. i have a group of teen girls who are there for me whenever i need them. they let me vent if i'm having a hard time, and all kinds of nice stuff. i know they can come up with ideas, and we can all brainstorm and help me through this. anyways, this "thing", it was supposed to go on for a month, and end the week before my birthday. well, i decided i want a clean slate. so i'm going to try again. Praise God for second chances. or three or four. so now this "thing" is going to go on until the week after my birthday. and i decided that if i mess up, i'm just going to have to start again, and say, a month from tomorrow. i need to be harder on myself. i need to stretch this to the extremes. i decided that i'm going to take this a little further. be more...deliberate i think is the word i need.

in the meantime, in the words of Mister Rogers "Let's think of something to do while we're waiting." so, i'll work on my SHP paper. i'll practice piano more. i'll spend more time with God. i'll do something to get my mind off of it.

so if the right person is reading this, i hope you don't hear from me for awhile. i hope nothing drastic happens while you're not hearing from me. despite the doubts i know if God has called me to do this, He and i will be able to complete the task at hand. I think that's all my tired mind has for now. Good-night to all.

"ya gotta keep on looking up!"

that's a song quote from the O.C. Supertones. anyways, i went to work last night. it was okay. there was a local football team that came. and practically trashed the place.(and all i have to show from that is a penny!) i have this system down whenever i clear tables after people leave. usually i pile all the trash on the plates, and then take it back. but this time i just worked my way down the line in clearing dishes. it made me feel like i was actually getting something done. but i made many trips into that room and out. and there were some other people in other places, so i had to keep checking on them. but it wasn't that bad.

by the time i left, i was really fed up with everyone swearing. fortunately i planned ahead and grabbed my Audio Adrenaline "Audios" CD when i went out the door. so when i left work, i got to drive on the Pike to "Big House". and then by the time i was on one of the roads leading back to town, i was listening and singing along with "Never Gonna be as big as Jesus". it made me feel really good.

also, at work, we saw some deer in the empty lot next to the building. there's a forest area near the building. at one point, there were two families standing looking out the window with fasinated lookds on their faces. so i went over to see what they were looking at. there were five deer hanging out in that lot. i guess they were eating dinner, but i'm not sure. it was cool because there were some little kids there at the time, so they really had fun watching this. i told them they came on the right night. so we watched them for a little longer and then watched them go back into the forest. the one dad asked me if we saw stuff like this often. i told him that was my first time seeing anything like that. but it was weird seeing such a peaceful animal near such a busy road. it just isn't an area where anyone would expect to see any deer.

and i would like to thank all of you for all your encouragement. i was able to read all your comments this morning. hopefully today will be a bit better.

one and lonely

why do i have to be a loner? it seems i've been like that all my life. first of all, i'm the only left hander in my family. and in church no one was ever really my friend. at least, no one wanted to be. making fun of me or totally ignoring me all together was always so much easier. well, actually they never caused me any problems until middle school. but i still ended up being the odd one out. in school, in all my classes no one ever wants to be my partner. it's like i have some kind of sign over my head that says i'm a bad person or something. i have friends in my classes, but they always have closer friends who'd they would like to be partners with. so they always end up being partners, except for when there's a project where three people may work together.

last year in french class, is a perfect example of this. we were supposed to be partners with the person sitting next to us. well, for the entire year, i sat in a seat with no one beside me. it was horrible. and then i think Madame felt bad for me because she made me the "techy" person of the class. if the projector or tv didn't work, she'd call me "Elisabeth" to come to the rescue. and while i'm okay with stuff like that, i'm not top notch. so sometimes i'd get it going again, but not always.

my teachers basically all get used to the fact that i work alone. what they don't know is that sometimes i would be so much better working with someone else, because i can't do it all myself. in the words of a band called Mae, "Sometimes i can't make it alone." Whenever we did the posters of a region for cooking class, mine never got voted for because i'm not an artsy person, and no one wanted to work with me to help make it look better.

today in Government class, we worked on worksheets, and we were supposed to work with a partner. guess who didn't have a partner? like i said, teachers catch on quick that i work by myself. and then instead of working on my worksheet, i ended up thinking about how people hate working with me, and i had tears running down my face. of course, i tried to hold as many back as possible, because there's so many people in that class. but no one cared anyways. and then there were no time for tears in math class because i had a quiz to conquer. but it's interesting how no one seems to care. they're really wrapped up in their picture perfect life.

at church i end up hanging out with all the adults. i even dropped out of the high school sunday school class to join one of the adult sunday school classes. but that's because I felt God telling me it was time to change. He finally said "Go!" (and i'm so glad he did!) apparently the high school class has never been the same since.

another thing, i find i've been hanging out with seniors a lot. and i'm a junior. so i don't know what i'm going to do once they all leave. but i'm not worried about that quite yet.

well, that's my rant for now. basically, no one talks to me in any of my classes. well, except for physics. a good friend of mine is in there, and sits next to me, and is my lab partner. i'm so thankful to have her in that class. none of us are really good friends with anyone else in the class.

and i know that God is with me always, and Jesus (and the WORD FM) will always be my best friend. even if no one else conciders me their best friend, Jesus will. i know he loves me so much, and i love him so much too. i wouldn't be sitting here otherwise.

Growing up

Someone told me today that i'm not allowed to grow up. this is probably because he's known me for basically my whole life. he was a little shocked today in gym class when he found out that i have my driver's license. i think i reminded him that he's growing up to. i mean, after all, he's the one graduating in june. is surprising me that all those Class of '08 people are so close to being done. they're now the ones all worried about what College to go to and everything.

obviously i can't just stop growing up. but i do wish life had a pause button. sometimes things go a little too fast for my liking. so sometimes i wish i could just push the pause button and think about things a little. unfortunately, i can't do that. so i'm sure i'll manage.

what an evening i had!

last night i had the most interesting experience. i was IMing my friend Liz, and i was going to try to show her a video my brother made on the family digital camera. i was having trouble with that, and then my foot started itching. so itch, itch, itch, itch, itch. then i asked Liz why my foot was itching, as if God had given her a special gift of telling people why a part of their body was itchy. so then, i looked down at my foot, and it was really red. and then my ring finger on my left hand starts itching. so itch, itch, itch, itch. so finally i conclude there has got to be something wrong with me. so i go over to my brother, as if he's some kind of doctor or something.(not!) he said maybe it was an allergic reaction. i really wasn't sure about that, because usually my allergic reactions include my throat swelling up. plus, i hadn't eaten anything in two hours. so this conversation concluded my brother asking me, "what did you eat", me answering, "nothing i'm allergic to", and then me putting my foot up on the computer desk and discovering that i now had bumps on my foot and finger. they looked like i had bug bites. so then my mom looks at them. she said i should probably take some benadryl. but i was convinced they were bug bites. the only odd part about that was that there weren't any bugs flying around me. so upstairs i go to get some cream to put on them. so i started putting cream on them, but then there were more on both my legs that kept popping up. i showed my mom those, and then decided to take the benadryl. and boy did they hurt. but i took one of those dissolvable stips.

they still itched a lot. but i just pretended it was the time when i was at youth group at the park and got 23 mosquito bites. because it hurt just like that. shortly after i took the benadryl, the bump on my finger went away. so it turns out that they were hives. some of them are still there, but they don't hurt like they did last night. and they're smaller than they were last night. needless to say it made my sunday evening interesting.

we're not really sure if the hives are because i ate something or just random. i know i didn't eat anything with nuts in it. all i had was a chocolate chip cookie pie piece. and i checked afterwards and confirmed that there were no nuts in it. and then i had Chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. with milk chocolate shell. so there's nothing there that could've caused it. not that i know of. but like i said, it could've been something random. i don't know. i just know that if it happens again, i'll take beandryl right away. when my dad saw my hives, and heard about how i took benadryl, he muttered something about how he thinks maybe we should invest in benadryl. i certainly wouldn't be here without it. well, i probably would, but it enabled me to go through allergic reactions quicker and with ease.

while we're on this note, i should mention that now i may be allergic to chicken. we're still waiting for the blood test results, but the other test they did showed that i'm allergic. i'm sort of sad, but i guess i could get used to it. i guess that means no more Chic-fil-a. but they fry their chicken in peanut oil, so i wasn't sure if that was going to be okay or not anyways. but i could still go there and just get ice cream! or a baked-potato.

all the right songs

yesterday when i was listening to the radio, all the right songs played on the radio. songs about being alone, yet not being alone, because God is always with us. the one that i heard during the afternoon is by a band called BDA and the chorus of this song goes:

"But you can't say that we are alone, you can't say that we are alone anymore, we can't say that we are alone. we are anything else, we are anything else. 'cause Love is here, 'cause Love is here with me now. "

there this other song that's by a band called Storyside B, and it's called "Be Still". but during the bridge, it goes something like this:

"is this you, and is this me? it's sometimes hard to believe that I am not alone. It's not just you, and not just me, we all need to believe that we are not alone."

those two songs, along with a few others really spoke to me yesterday. prove that God has a hand in what songs are played and at what time. i think it's so awesome to experiance that sort of thing. it's probably because i have some much intrest in music.

family from long ago

my dad has been doing a whole lot of searching for our ancestors. our county's library system offers this Heritage thing online where anyone with a library card in our county can look at different censuses and all kinds of things. last night my dad was looking at some cemetery records. see, his grandmother, we all call her Nana, died about on and a half years ago. she's buried in one of the oldest cemeteries around this area. apparently some of her other family members are buried there too. so Dad wanted to find all those grave stones and take pictures of them to show his Aunt Joan, Nana's daughter. so my dad and my sister were going to go to the cemetery, and i decided that i may as well go along. i'm glad i did. first we showed Anna Nana's grave, because i was the only one of us three kids who went to the funeral. so we showed her that, and then we started our search. Dad figured out from a website where section A was. so we drove near that, and started looking. i spotted all the ones that we wanted to find. there were four in all, and it was very interesting finding them. we found out that my great-great-great grandfather may have fought in the Civil War on the Union side. but i think my dad wants to find more information on that.

so all in all it was a very informational morning. on the way there and back Dad was telling us stories about Nana when she was growing up. she used to walk from one town to the other for high school. i've always thought that my parents live in a "foreign town" compared to where they grew up. but it turns out that some of my ancestors lived in or around this town. that's nice to know. there are people in this town who have so many generations who have lived here. and i haven't been one of those people. but at least there were a few people related to me who've lived here.