Um, those pictures are going to have to wait

i had a thing all written out about my hair cut, pictures included. but then for some reason it wouldn't let me put the pictures on. so i'm going to have to wait until i can bet my mom to help me do this. she's the one who puts the pictures of the sunsets on that blog. but i have what i wrote all saved, so i will put that up once i get everything together. in the meantime, head over to www.zeiglerfamilystuff.blogspot.com. i think there's a picture of my new hair cut over there. at least that's what i'm being told. but i promise i will put pictures on here as soon as i can.

Change

it seems i'm in for a big change today. a few weeks ago, i realized i was in a rut, and i needed to do something major to get out of that rut. and for about a year or so i've been planning to send my hair away to Locks of Love. i've done it once before about five years ago. but my hair afterwords didn't turn out very well, because the lady didn't listen to how i wanted my hair to be done. so now i have trust issues with people who cut hair. but now i'm comfortable enough that i think i want to get my hair layered this time. so ten inches are coming off, and then i don't know what he's going to do to my hair, but i know that he'll do what's best for my hair. i'm getting it done by a guy who my mom's been going to for a few years. and he cut my hair short(well, to my shoulders) about two years ago. so now my hair will go to a good cause, and i'll get the change i needed. this is all happening this afternoon. i think i'm going to have my sister take a picture of me today, and then i'll have her take a picture tomorrow. and then i'll post them here so you all can see the difference. if you want to get an idea of what it looks like, just find pictures of Jennifer Knapp when her hair was really long. if possible, find her music video of "A little More". her hair in that music video is basically how long my hair is right now. in my short time of searching, i didn't find it, but it's on the Gotee DVD of "The Vault", which has a bunch of music videos from Gotee artists. so go find a friend who has that, then watch the video. it's a great song too.

i'm a little nervous, but i know everything will be okay.

i don't want to talk about it.

Amazing

so i went out parallel parking with Granddad. we actually went to the PennDOT place where i will go tomorrow. it was good to practice there, because it helped to get to know that particular spot. i practiced until i started getting tired, and then my parking jobs weren't so great. but there was this one God moment i would like to share really quick before i get ready for bed.

there was another parent and teen there who also wanted to practice, so the other guy and i took turns doing it. the first time when i was waiting and watching him parallel park, it reminded me of the last time when i tried to take the test, because there was someone who went ahead of me. suddenly all the anxiety came back, and my heart started to beat faster. but i just prayed that it would go away. i told myself that it was different now, and i could do this. i already proved to myself that i could do it. Then, God took it all away. when we were leaving, i felt a little nervous. and right now i do too. but i know that tomorrow morning i'm going to have to rely on God 100% to get me through it all. I feel like i know what i'm doing, it's not totally new for me. i've been practicing nine months for this. I'm just going to trust that God knows what he's doing, and he knows when i need my license. i'm scared that maybe it won't be tomorrow. but i need to keep things optimistic. i need to think positively. and maybe, just maybe, i'll be able to pass my test, and as my friend Eric said, "get my face plastered on plastic." i'll just keep praying. and like any other test, i need to get plenty of sleep. I guess i'll see all of you on the other side.

parallel parking maddness

Today i'm supposed to be focusing on Parallel parking. my granddad is coming up from Maryland to help me parallel park with my parent's mini-van, and he let me barrow a toy car of his to practice on the dining room table. yesterday i was at my Grandparent's house to celebrate my mom's birthday. my Granddad's brother was up from Alabama, but had to be taken back to the airport to fly back yesterday afternoon. so i went with Granddad to drop him off. on the way there, Granddad suddenly stopped and said "Watch this", and he just slipped the Nissan Versa into a random parking space. i know how to parallel park. in fact, last Easter, he was the one who taught me the fine art of parallel parking. but now is the time when it counts. tomorrow is when i get to do this skill to the very best of my ability.

also when we were on the way to the airport, Uncle Bill told me that even after i get my license i should still parallel park as often as i can, just so i don't lose that ability. He told me that at the college where he works, there are so many college students that don't know how to parallel park. so basically it seems that people are learning this skill for the test, and then they never use it. now, thankfully, i guess, i live in an area of town where we don't have a driveway, and even if we wanted to park in back of the garage, we'd have to parallel park. most of the time we can get away with just pulling in a spot, but there are times when my dad had to parallel park when he brought me home from work at night. and there are other parts of town where the people who live there are very skilled at getting their car in to the tightest of spaces.

so i know that lots of people from my church and family are going to be praying for me as i go to take this test tomorrow. i'll be praying for me too. it'll be my second time taking the test. the good parts that i see about this is that i know completely what to expect, and hopefully i'll be more calm than i was the last time.

now if you'll excuse me, i need to go parallel park on the dining room table.

It's going to be okay...at least I hope so

I feel so much better than i did yesterday. Thank God for new days, because i needed one last night. i know i don't have as much anxiety as i did yesterday and the day before. i was able to let some things out that couldn't be kept inside anymore. later i need to post lyrics from a song by 12 Stones called "It was You". it's a song about how God has shaped us to be what we need to be. and He taught us how to stand for what is real, and what is right. It's thanks to God that we're even here right now. I really like that song, and i hope it makes a big impact on radio once it's realized to radio.

puzzled

so there's someone i need to talk to. and i guess the sooner would be better in this situation. however, i told myself that i would wait one week before talking to this person. but i'm trying to figure out if this need to talk to this person sooner is something God is trying to tell me. right now i'm not really sure. and i'm not sure how i can be sure. and i know i won't be at peace with the situation until i talk about it with the person. but the week mark is wednesday. so if i just survive these next few days, hopefully everything will be okay. it just feels like everything inside me is jumbled, like when my yarn gets all knoted when i'm trying to knit. i've tried to focus my attention and energy elsewhere, but my thoughts always come back to how i'm supposed to fix this. so i'm not quite sure what i'm supposed to do. but i'll keep praying, and somehow God and I will figure out what's best for me.

More stuff about change

so i've been reading 1 Samuel over the past few days. okay, i actually partially decided to read 1 Samuel because we were reading part of it for Sunday school, because we were studying David and Jonathan and how Jonathan was in the middle of the situation. so i realized that there are actually lots of the bible that i know about, but haven't actually read. so i'm trying to get to some of those parts. i'm not trying to read the bible in a year, because i'm not reading straight through. but for those of you who chose to read the Bible in a year, you're awesome! one problem i have, is that i start, and then never finish, so then i start over again, and then it gets to the point where i have Genisis and Exodus down pat.

anyways, it was very interesting reading it. after i was done reading, i went back to the beginning because my bible has this thing at the beginning of each book that tell about who wrote the book, what the main point of the book is about, things like that. well, the theme for 1 Samuel is Change. i thought that was kinda cool how God worked that out. i've been thinking lately about change, and how maybe i need some. through the book of 1 Samuel Isreal goes through some changes. they get a king. that's the biggest thing.

i'm sure i said this in my last post, but i feel like i'm ready for something to change. and only God knows what it's going to be. i'm not totally sure yet. well, i know of one thing, but more on that later...

did you know that Orange juice can help fight depression? I heard that on the radio one time. it's because it has a good source of folic acid, which has been found to prevent depression. this is encouraging concidering that i found out that depression could possibly run in my family. so yesterday i decided i was going to start drinking orange juice on a regular basis. i only drink orange juice when i get a craving for it, or when i'm doing the 30 hour famine and can only drink juice and water. so i had my orange juice yesterday, and it was fine. this morning, i went to the fridge, and there was none. just an empty container sitting on the counter! and this is strange because my brother isn't even home, so it's not like we're going through things, such as milk and orange juice. so i guess it'll have to wait. it's not like we even have any oranges around here that i could eat.

speaking of the 30 Hour Famine, you can learn more about that by clicking here . I've been doing the famine since i was in 6th grade. last year i tried to do it on my own, but it didn't really work out the way i would've liked it to. It's not that i didn't have the will power, i just happened to get the flu that weekend. and then my mom made me eat soup. To say the least, each 30 hour famine i've done has been different. by different, i mean vastly different. sorry to get on a tangent, but that's what you get for wanting to read this thing! :-)

starting new

Okay, so it's come to my attention that something's got to change. in
the words of Leaning on the Keys, "[she's] leaving for step number two,
on a rainy Sunday [she's] starting new. Hands on the wheel [she] waves
good-bye, it's going to be a long ride but [she'll] be fine..." so once
this change happens,i'll be sure to let all of you know.

one thing that brings this on is the need for something different with my
walk with God. for some reason it's time to change something. it's
beginning to feel like the same old, same old. that's not what i want it to be. in talking to a friend of mine, i realized that i haven't been to a faith based conference in a while. two years if my memory serves me correct. but there isn't any opportunity right now, so i'm going to have to create my own. There's a Sunday evening service that recently began at a church down the street from my house. i think maybe on the Sundays when i'm home, i might try to go. It sounds like it could be really great in addition from what i get out of sunday school and church. it just hasn't worked out for me to go so far this summer.

with that being said, i hope every one of you is having a good summer, and i hope that you continue to have a wonderful summer.